Dear FutureMe,
are you happy now? do you wake up feeling like there is a reason for you to be awake and alive? have you found love in a person, a friend, family, are you in love? have you recovered from your eating disorders and is your anxiety any less? do you eat food and not question it? did you ever tell your parents that you're struggling? how's coryn and what happened with the boys? is chaos still healthy? is your mom and your relationship any better? when did corona stop controlling your life? hows high school, did you make freshman year memorable? how often do you smoke now? did you lose interest in school, did you lose your faith in your success? did somebody break your heart this year? are you over drake still? did you ever get to kiss jack or have you kissed somebody and really meant it? are you okay? i hope you love life. - mena :)
Epilogue
about 5 years later
hi mena. i am happy for the most part. i definitely wake up with purpose - i wouldn't say i 100% feel alive yet though. i have found lots of...
Toerw omer and htgnniya idesorvcde fo owrld elov tfle atht is ,love i reve tnha a rttlee ahd fnumagelin tshi ginnuee nhwe i ive. Ma in lwle i ev,lo as. Oevl and how ekli twah ned eamdr uoy u,p tsela ti whree gattuh eb anc kame nd'to i penros em nkwo ta dfnuo tbu aehv i a 'tlli cna woh ash. Ahrtepy xtneiya adb ym dan i bgean but otuba shetno be, can veenr dan am how add i to ttemiadd omm ahve ryleal ngiths. Dn'to rrgete me idd hisrnga e,wll otn gsenlfie my utb kaem yeth eyth oatmmciucen asol. Avhe nocyr owh oeynhtsl iead si no i. Snkope a ar,ye rifspindeh wot opeoohrsm nerve rhe eaftr and 'eiv nhtik in dnot' i yraes, eddelknri ew to. Rtfae ewn nfieded i woh neev nad hist aer atht tem dint'd won am wokn hyet i ohw woret atwh oeppel i i wnhe. (rzcya cldlea c)aoonr dna aertf i ginaa i odciv "sybo eenrv ttha iht e"th it gnuh uot. Gtuhho pop unnteiocd my ni hwo pu ynnfu ot lefi, tsi thye. Rmpo hwo tuo tgnaid ewtn ahngs dan lti)ls (nto to tihw imet lbeca sa is tbu eht tmmro,aoe thwi all onw onw acf,e yteh ttbaen you knlede on orf rouy atet ot netw eadrett hona yeo,nbfdri opgzoidlea my ym. Tath idn'td otwre hits het umresm ti you acsoh kaem tasp. Mi,h miss ilke i i tlsil sogd ubt 'otdn aenmryo. Erov nad esud sit ym eb ot mhcu errmembe dhar re,say the os ilke i hatw it mom to eompvdir. Rltsgugse cumh asd sjut me she aesmk ,won ti utb who. Si ti i oemld htat atnw a of mekas ehs to erenv be ads owh me. Do ubt ofmr imrmseoe hhgi asw ayer i odgo erylticna tno eavh aehmrnfs socloh a,meremobl. Seifdl and iurngnn htisng t,emusoak cra uto lkbaipecll nglipya ruhhotg a,etl. Htwi hte dna in asbuur ngia fo the stunsse disrnen tknur. Hte no upoaels erisvd. I ol,t osal nwo fomr ot i eonros of so im udsekc a dah atht nad iwsh dlipere oegn ti sthi but ti afr. Mokse i ubt tigntasr angia houneg lla, rcniegodsni 'ntdo im uynnf ta. Tllsi mi adn sit i btu dofo - iltls veor ettbre yw,a ayw siuo,xan ryrow. Lrgoen ym aditesct it sayd on. Ont awy me i my nda hgtoruh looshc urpdo ni eaksm in gtfouh tfahi did atht i leso cuesscs a. Tghins i evha to adn daedmre ihsoeldpacmc otg i f,o ratge wrehe i. I ddi uodcl it ihrtg tbes its any onw oechic fo ivneg eth ahrd i ot saw atwh enwk ubt ysa ubt eth fi - i. Erhat osbo'ydn it vtlaylneeu ahpnep ih,aewl idd tub in my nokerb. Uyo drfleoo u'doy utb neifdr to ,cjak of eb tbse lfle htat tlsulabeoy his wnok ni ovle hwti itendas nsikgsi. Lfie syalp lwle, ti otu laylre owh btu nynfu hat'ts nde tdn'id. Ym i i skis cna ceunrrt enrwvhee ebydrifno. Fro in epdho thwa to me i he's aasylw a been uyg. M'i odn't gidibnul wn,o evlo htwa i i 'mi heerw at ubt evlo. .
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