Dear FutureMe,
are you happy now? do you wake up feeling like there is a reason for you to be awake and alive? have you found love in a person, a friend, family, are you in love? have you recovered from your eating disorders and is your anxiety any less? do you eat food and not question it? did you ever tell your parents that you're struggling? how's coryn and what happened with the boys? is chaos still healthy? is your mom and your relationship any better? when did corona stop controlling your life? hows high school, did you make freshman year memorable? how often do you smoke now? did you lose interest in school, did you lose your faith in your success? did somebody break your heart this year? are you over drake still? did you ever get to kiss jack or have you kissed somebody and really meant it? are you okay? i hope you love life. - mena :)
Epilogue
about 5 years later
hi mena. i am happy for the most part. i definitely wake up with purpose - i wouldn't say i 100% feel alive yet though. i have found lots of...
Roem rtowe stih is hgayntni orwdl iev adn nhew eevr eenugni svcoiddree htat ovel a ifeannlmgu had etfl i than tretle fo i lo,ve. As llew i am ,evol in. A i nt'do sah tub nde it drame nwok hwat l'ilt ikle how eb hwere olve ofudn me nda i ta slate can kaem ahve uoy gtuaht nproes hwo u,p acn. Aynxiet adn leryal anc add ot nvere dba ma emtidtad mmo tub eangb owh tesnoh hinstg i ,be prteyah dna ahev my abotu i. Also nelgesif em erterg nto nsrhagi tbu idd ,ewll ekma cnmcouimtae heyt ythe ym dnt'o. Teonlhys edai who i no yorcn si evha. A dan rae,y arfet to sar,ey orooemhps ew i erh iv'e owt nhitk hrdienpfsi ni t'nod vreen rdeildenk poneks. Dendefi hatw i sith vene owh i wno how hnew met ownk wen dna htat i weotr ehyt 'ddnti eppoel ear i trafe am. Ac)orno gaani envre gunh thi out carzy( thta clelda rtfae i i dna y"sbo t"he odcvi it. Ym htye pop up ni tis noinedutc who l,fei ughtoh ot yufnn. Went yuro gintad ym boneyi,dfr nsgha t(no hwo ekelnd netw on my sa whit ltils) htiw own a,fec meit mpor ot ohan caebl tbu eattnb is ot now the tate adn oyu reatetd yeth remomota, logezipoda rfo out lla. Tsap htis ti kaem the ortew rmesmu htta cosah yuo tddni'. Gsod lsitl isms i 'ondt anmyeor tbu i h,mi ilek. Irvdmepo humc reov so be ot i eikl eht e,yras sti to athw nad dhra rmrmebee ti mmo ym usde. Skmea she now, em urgstegls ubt just it sda umhc hwo. Ohw it atth fo is esh eb ot nreve wnat dleom i me ads kmesa a. Fmor ton gihh mlae,orbme ismeoemr i good wsa holcos nsmhfaer lyrientac tub do raey ehav. Llbkaiclpe and feilds ogrhhtu acr npyliga tk,usoame te,al snhigt uignnnr tou. Angi adn stsesun sbaruu eht ni kntur irsnnde teh tihw of. On evsird hte olpusae. It ukdces oasl o,tl fmor this adn a so rfa seoron wno deriepl ahd i btu ahtt to eong i im wsih it fo. Emosk ubt ynfnu 'tdon all, im sndecirinog rntisatg uenogh at ngaia i. Tlisl lsitl oodf - nad i roryw but wa,y ebtter its ovre mi ywa iosa,uxn. Ym eognlr tcadiets dasy on ti. Afthi ddi selo atht dourp a and aeksm my i sueccss tno awy in osolhc ni i tugfho em trouhgh. Gto ot tegra i ehav i emardde fo, ngihts nda ewher mlhsdceaoicp i. Yas tseb - gihrt it if nay of wsa tbu rhad to het ddi i evngi tub hiccoe culdo i whta het wno i tis kewn. Utlyelanve thaer papenh korneb utb it did y'bdonso my ,ielhaw ni. A,jkc eb otyaullbse but dy'uo oevl sdntaei hsi doloref dnreif btes wokn to ihtw isiskng in yuo lefl htta fo. Dne lrlyae hstta' hwo 'nidtd ,llwe ynnfu tub lsypa it elfi tou. Can trnrceu i edbfynoir eeervnwh i skis my. In ugy phdoe twha em i neeb orf ot asaywl a 'hse. W,on i evol utb vleo wreeh i'm gnbiidlu tond' i hawt at m'i. .
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