Dear FutureMe,
are you happy now? do you wake up feeling like there is a reason for you to be awake and alive? have you found love in a person, a friend, family, are you in love? have you recovered from your eating disorders and is your anxiety any less? do you eat food and not question it? did you ever tell your parents that you're struggling? how's coryn and what happened with the boys? is chaos still healthy? is your mom and your relationship any better? when did corona stop controlling your life? hows high school, did you make freshman year memorable? how often do you smoke now? did you lose interest in school, did you lose your faith in your success? did somebody break your heart this year? are you over drake still? did you ever get to kiss jack or have you kissed somebody and really meant it? are you okay? i hope you love life. - mena :)
Epilogue
about 5 years later
hi mena. i am happy for the most part. i definitely wake up with purpose - i wouldn't say i 100% feel alive yet though. i have found lots of...
Ahnt dna i iev veol nnhgiyat a fo hwne i erowt tish rteetl ttha nnuilfegam hda meor irocvedsed erev rlowd is ,elov ugnneei left. I ma elwl v,oel ni as. Ndto' ilt'l pu, dna ta hvae wtha you acn sopren end uondf be how i eolv konw weerh eikl me gttuah daemr tbu keam i a hsa telas hwo nca it. I geanb ellayr ym evah bda tub adn sheotn dda demdtita acn mmo nad ntighs taenxyi to i ma atpryhe eenrv botua woh b,e. Mkae toimneucamc my asol riahngs ,ellw ddi trgeer me otn gflnseei yeht td'no ythe but. Is i yrcon no hvae otsnleyh hwo iead. Rhe ew pseidfihnr redidkeln iknth wto a,resy nveer dn'to ,arey ni nda to eiv' phoomoers posekn i atrfe a. Wnhe 'dintd hsti nwo era hwta nwe i eevn fdndeie ma i i teyh wkon dna i leeppo ohw rtfea retow who tem tath. )onorca i y"bos eth" i nvree oidvc lecdal freat that nad ti hit tou aaign nhgu car(zy. Opp eiotcdunn pu ni ym hwo ot ,lfie yhte uyfnn tsi uhghto. Imet no atet ashgn attenb ace,f is nwo nhao to sa ropm edattre uot eribdfyo,n tub lbcea ewnt twih podizagoel ohw ot the my ryou hitw oyu gntaid lis)lt all lndeek nwo tmo,eroma nda for htey n(to netw ym. Yuo trweo that ahsco eth it ndit'd shit tpas make mserum. Mnaroye tbu 'notd mih, smis dosg elik illts i i. Leki deus thaw hcmu to ot it ,asyre vero erbemrem omm be eth my i so pevmdior ist adhr adn. Ti regsstlgu aemsk uchm tub ohw sda me ehs tujs ,own. Das si eksma edoml ohw hes twna a be that fo neevr i me ot it. Efnhsrma i hhig veha ont aenlciytr was olhcos arye rfmo ubt emmieors od ,bromeemla dgoo. Akpllelcib ukmetaso, snigth yglainp lte,a tuo nnirung nda arc trhguoh esldfi. Ursbua dna thiw kutrn ssnutes iagn het fo eth rninesd in. Aposeul the no srdvei. Own dan shti fra dha so ti o,lt a fo to also hwsi it im i dsueck dpliere mrfo thta tbu oneros i onge. Esmok tub gnatstri mi ta i l,al dton' nnyfu sincroedgin aiagn eognuh. Ofod mi tlsil i retebt ,ayw nda - voer ayw oyrwr isllt asnouix, tub its. Syda golren my no ti adicstet. In tifha gruthho cholso i dan ton ni ym akmes htat me ayw olse ddi a dopur i suesccs hotguf. Nhistg i dan heav i gto raegt i of, edmdrea ehrwe ecialdpsohmc ot. I fi but hte it hwta tsi i rdha ot gvien wno etbs rtgih nwke heccio i - asw sya ddi nya ubt eth cdlou fo. It benork ehrat in aelh,wi did o'bsdoyn but ym epanhp nalluveeyt. Htat iwth dtsanei 'dyuo be lelf ni taylueoslb efdrin hsi ot of oerlfod nissgki love jcak, etsb oyu wkno tub. Llwe, llryea unnfy itdnd' athts' tbu woh uto it feil lpsay dne. I ym kiss i uncrter nac hwevrene frnyeboid. Me to ni wlasya eebn hse' a ephod i athw orf ygu. Whta veol btu elvo i'm tdo'n i 'mi ta won, hreew nibdulgi i. .
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