A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

An atepud wtan. . . ,edeidn m,a eb aepsunlxa u,eeqr peifcsic i to. Huohtg iornnnyab ot 4 or and egrfui thsomn tou okot sa eaohntr 5 atht le,wl. Uaeihrop adn new e,on vaeh opnsnoru rfo a emit s,efhr new dgeenr frsit alatcu a me mnea ttah i dan vgei mcrneueneudb on,w itenlgs hte.
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Was ruemsm eht. . . Oto dna flal hte o,nlg aws. Fro and to nt,erwi ithw imte ym ot mace netrur serptan het adn live enth. . . I tdi'dn. Ltef ot ethn aemc nde from a fo i meth, acpin and tiacfrn ehrit natontcs of mhte on dan a uto keew rfiel,e hrus llacs. Ptxeec dna dgdtnnsmnrieiuas uarslfe peed me to adn eep,d. ,eerth to liev atisdne i sohntm teihr fnuod n'ddti thiw msoe macy,onp mermsbe to twih gffastunoic endps adn ,so sutck rentur mliyaf. And lyoevl sti' nbee.
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Yam cxdeteep eorht o,to have yestclre ithsng uoy vhea cdhnaeg as. In scintarhi do my rapt si mi' a sweet vleo saw thaw rof of inticsarh 'ogds whihc to epanstr a yrou hstaerd hhu(ogt ym keep ni,dm) meyrano ectipaeapr i rtfofse ton. Euds ltlsi ot ppiaerh shintg eenv( thaw nhta slfm,ye ndtgaseer not im' oyulroghht ormf how ahtt yhap)p aevh i vere i nda ayn dna dan naym edi,fths in ehva i eben dinf vloepdee,d s,cae lwhie ,eb wenh.
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M'i fuue,rt moes eht for ni olfehpu asyw. Of helwo latenp the eoph as otuab pmesiicitss nda asol a teh xunoasi and. Tir?hg nsfgeir drs,sceo.
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To drea dninsge ildtaoniav ,yuo adn v,loe ym kcab ecat,eacpcn.

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