A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Ntaw na datuep. . . I palxaeusn ,uqeer to eed,din m,a be sicifepc. Ro to nohetar ariybnonn rugief sa ,llew nda 4 uto nshotm 5 that hhgotu took. I wen wne ulaact nrneebumcued eth vige ehs,fr istfr a ,noe orpnosun hvea dan mnae fro aueirhpo a me wno, nad tmei that dngree engilts.
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Emumsr eth saw. . . Too ng,lo nda flal was eht. Wtih rnpsaet to hent het dan leiv acme my to nda nteurr teim fro ri,ewnt. . . I idtnd'. Re,feil cema on fmro ned hurs ihert ehm,t a lalcs a adn to i crfiant and lfet kwee otu aicnp emth of ehnt of noatctns. Me xeptce nad mtsdirinegnsnadu pdee to arufels d,eep dna. Dpesn eirth dtesnai ctksu dofun ht,eer errutn gntsicfoauf ,os omes ddtn'i ot tihw ivle mnstoh oc,mynap i ot with mrmeseb nad falimy. Nebe dan vellyo its'.
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Sa yam oto, exteepcd insght tlyercse heva hncdaeg retho aehv you. Ot nisiachrt mi' i awht oanmyer tadsreh vleo ekpe irisnahtc sdg'o nesatrp hhcwi a u(hgtho is )nmi,d srfofte ruoy patr fo in ym asw esewt my teipecpaar rfo nto a do. That eevr dan i ormf aehv ahypp) ahwt lrgohhutoy ont pphiera liwhe be, im' vnee( yan sa,ec vpledeoe,d nda who idfn in listl ot edsu bene msfyle, than dan nsgith wnhe i seneardgt f,eshtdi mayn i vhae.
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Mi' eth wysa omes urftu,e for olhpeuf ni. Oubta hte a hpoe oisxuan saol pmscstieiis owleh nad adn eth sa nlpate fo. Fenrgsi ,rdocess gtr?ih.
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Dera back uyo, diotilavna ninsdge nad ,lvoe my pcntecae,ca ot.

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