A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Dptaue na want. . . Dnd,eie ,eqeur am, naspxelau be picfscei to i. Nybannrio 5 4 noaetrh eurfgi lew,l thta uto hgutoh koot as nad or tsonhm ot. Nurbuedemecn tilegns atth i ifrst item nda ofr amne wne nda n,wo eht eahv degern haouprei oe,n a noprusno a hfs,re give wne ultaca me.
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Ersmmu aws teh. . . The wsa nad oot ,ogln llaf. Iewtnr, hten meti viel to etrurn nad fro cema ym ot hte eparnts wtih dan. . . I'ntdd i. Dan ruhs hnte noctants nfrtica fo eewk hmte of nad eel,ifr a eh,tm lacsl to flte cnapi otu frmo theri no a ned i ecma. Elruafs ot ecptex dna em uddigsirtmesnnna and p,dee edep. Dan eeh,rt o,s tniesda whit hwti emos turren eithr i cusnffotgai m,yopnca dofun ndpes ot ckuts yflaim emrsbem ot liev dd'nti tohnms. And eben lolevy ts'i.
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Mya ignsht sa cryeelts oto, caegdhn yuo cxeetdpe eorth hvea hvea. Ihhcw od sinitrach in menryao my a ratp eepk wsa sod'g a is otn ot rof foferst m'i of o(thguh vloe iaacpprete ptranse earhdst my nim)d, oyru icantrshi i stewe whta. Ont ehwli leedd,opev perahip c,ase ormf myan hpya)p en(ve eebn ndif ot tllis dna i eevr adn in dna newh evah otulrhyohg htings any i i'm b,e i fh,estid naht owh tahw steagdnre thta hvae desu felysm,.
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Het ,ftueur ywas rof ni esom lpufoeh i'm. As lptaen hewol and saol hte dan obatu xuiosna pohe fo teh sistmicspei a. Hg?tri fgnsier d,rsscoe.
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Arde ot ,yuo edgsnin bakc ailonvidta paecencact, and loe,v my.

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