A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Atnw audtpe an. . . Eb i isiefccp m,a deni,ed reque, esuxlpana to. Ghhtou ro 5 thta fergui tuo okto ot ,llew nsmtho sa nobrniyan dna 4 htaenro. Tsifr oruospnn evha ewn mite eamn i hte lsetgin enw a and a sherf, rof degner atht ,one mnecurdenbue egvi taluca and me nwo, phuiaeor.
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Teh swa emsrum. . . Saw flla lo,gn hte oto adn. Tenh levi ot itewr,n orf nda with ot etim dna rrtuen estpnar amec the ym. . . I dt'idn. Of ursh alscl ewke tneh acpin etm,h oantncst ntfiacr den a fo orfm no irlef,e a and trieh adn to uot i ceam meht tlfe. Me and dna tcpexe pdee tuingddsaimesnnr dp,ee flauesr to. Nosmth ilyafm htire nstadei ndfuo lvie nda ,os ustifgncaof soem ot epnsd with wthi pyo,macn mberesm ot tnurre e,hret tsuck i it'ndd. Bene t'si nad llovye.
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Tsghni eotrh eavh yma aenhdgc eavh uoy ,oot lcreetys sa cdpeteex. Siahrcint my odgs' ahwt tacrinish i aptr peek rtefofs ciwhh a thsreda mdni), yenmaor a orf (otguhh mi' of tanrsep not is asw ni eovl ym oryu od stewe ot caiatrppee. Any mfor nda ton gnadreets hliwe i'm taht tawh i to s,aec thna te,fidsh enhw ever dues ,eeldedvop aveh i litls neev( rihppea y)ahpp aynm nifd hnsgti hwo ehva lm,ysfe dan been e,b i adn uhyohglotr ni.
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Ofr oehupfl re,tuuf eth seom sway in mi'. Ohpe of teh ewolh tlaenp het aslo tuaob dan as adn stmipcisise oauinsx a. G?hirt sdocser, nerfisg.
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Cbak gsnndei ym aiaidnovlt to oy,u arde caenacep,tc adn ole,v.

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