A letter from May 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Hi *****, I've been dealing with this for a while, and I just need to talk with somebody about it. I think that I may be Lesbian or Bi. I've felt this way for a long time, but I've just ignored it or told myself I'm 'confused'. My parents are homophobic, they were raised conservatively, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They don't know yet. The church at ****** is really open-minded, and I just need some help working through this. I don't want my parents to know (at least not yet), so sticking with e-mail would be good. Thank you for being there, ***** That's the letter we just sent to our pastor. If not now, when? Sure, it's Coronavirus. Sure, I'm quarantined in with my homophobic parents. Sure, I have absolutely nowhere to go and no resources to speak of. Sure, I'm currently sitting in a closet (really) crying. Sure, I'm mentally probably not ready for this. But, if not now, when? Wherever you are, good luck. And I love you. And so. does. God. -You a year ago

Epilogue

2 days later

Hi dearie,

Well, it's a been a year, that's for sure. A long, 15 months of March with life transformations packed in to the brim.

I suppose you'll...

Udeatp an tnaw. . . Eidd,en a,m be unsalxeap reqeu, psecicfi ot i. Tou 4 snmoth that hohtug adn sa 5 ro to nnbyinoar okot ueifgr reohtna we,ll. N,eo hs,ref eerngd imte i hte atth lcatau ureopiah dan adn fro won, em hvea giev itrsf enam a enw nooupsrn wen eecmennrubdu a siglent.
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Eth emsmru saw. . . Het too swa dan onl,g flal. Nda het emca ehnt ilev for ym rwteni, wthi adn srntape to itme ot nrerut. . . Tdnid' i. T,ehm nda omfr dan ncpia shur to stnoactn lcals flet a fo nde tehri i cmae a ehmt tifcran no of eekw fre,iel enth otu. Ot ralusfe em ed,ep adn eedp tpxeec adn nireasdtgdimusnn. Dan semo i'dndt so, gnufsofiact teasdin hrite dfnou monhst ymacon,p npesd ot kscut to i aiymfl embresm tihw tnurer hwti live tre,he. Eben olvley nda i'st.
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Lyrsctee gndcahe treho ot,o vahe signht aym yuo teexpcde sa heva. To ni,d)m scanhriit ni a asdetrh vloe do was whhci a i wetes eforstf og(huht ceaptapier ont kpee 'mi oruy gdso' of enrtaps for ym ym nromyae thwa patr sairncith is. Nebe i nshgti sdeu wtha dnif ynam in i ihlew e,b dan hewn i romf to vaeh who ae,sc ogyltrhhuo yhap)p sltli eraphip dna heav i'm emy,sfl dtaernesg eerv ,elddepveo htat ev(ne not anth estfid,h yna adn.
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Ywsa eth utfuer, rof in some im' puflhoe. Dan ouainxs as otabu laos hte heop hte fo dan a wlheo atnlep pisessitimc. Ss,oercd rght?i ifsrneg.
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Kacb ot nndgsei adn my niavlaotid u,oy l,oev ared eat,npcacce.

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