A letter from May 1st, 2020

dear future aj, i hope you are doing well my fellow 21 year old. **** sis you legal now and you thought you would've never gotten here. i wonder what your favorite alcohol is. i wonder if you even party anymore. i'm just gonna say i know **** well you do because you're never too young to party. remember that. anyways, i wouldn't even know that writing a letter to the future existed if it weren't for tik tok. i never understood the hype about tik tok until quarantine forced me to start using the app more. and if i'm being honest, i love it. it's literally the funniest **** ever and the videos i make can be actually dope sometimes. i make the dancing, cooking, and aesthetic types of videos. my favorite is the aesthetic ones because i can show my daily life. tik tok is an app where i get to watch other people thrive while i'm in lockdown in my house. i hope you have gone on crazy adventures with your crazy friends because i know that's all you've wanted. i hope you've gone on road trips with no destination. i hope you've gotten that money to buy all the clothes you've ever wanted. i hope you have a hella dope shoe collection because right now, all i be rockin' are some ******* af1's but it be like that sometimes. i hope you've been in college for a few years now, wheteher if it's for sonography or not. on a real note though, i hope you've found a man that treats you right and that you love with all your heart. that's all i ever dream of now, but good things take time. if you hadn't remembered, i broke up with that bryan kid last year. i realized my worth and didn't want to settle for less. he didn't respect me the way i respected him, but i continued to be an ******* towards him after we broke up. it's whatever. fast forward to this year, i started talking to this new guy. well, i was. i'll tell you the story. his name is isaiah, but he goes by zay. he was in my 2nd period film studies class, and i swear he was the finest man in that class. he's a senior so i thought the chance was slim, and this whole school year, i have not needed a man so i didn't really bother. but during our florida trip for nationals, i been having some relationship fever. coincidentally, josh and aaron know him so i got that hook up. and yeah we started talking, but i recently put it on hold a few weeks ago. we were talking for a month already, but i still feel like i haven't found a genuine connection with him. our conversations feel forced so it makes me wonder if this dude even has any depth to him. and i hate trying to get to know him through the phone, so i called it off for now. he's a really sweet guy and he's honestly pretty funny so that's why i still have hope. i want to give him a chance, and hopefully we'll go on a chick fil a date after quarantine. he drives a red mazda and he likes reggae so what can i say. LOL i wonder if you still have that thing for beater cars. YOU WAS OBSESSED WITH DEM *****. A 1997 TOYOTA COROLLA. you know what the **** i'm talking about. am i gonna love these cars forever? like what the ****. why i got a beater car fetish. i wonder what car you're driving now. at the moment, ya girl ain't got no **** car, but i'm probably gonna get mom's honda civic and i'm fine with that. at least i got that license. i can't wait to play roddy ricch on full blast in my car while eating in n out. also i forgot to tell you that we recently moved into a new house and i'm loving it. i'm really grateful and my favorite part is the balconies OR my hard *** room. i know this letter is going on for like 5 years (i didn't even mean that), but ima just talk about one more thing, because who knows when i'll write another one of these letters. for the past week or so, i just feel like god has been watching me. it's so weird because something random, like a thing or thought will just pop up in my head, and then in a few hours or days, it becomes reality. for example, i was just thinking about designer and chanel one day, and how much i'd be flexing if i had some. then a few hours later, while going through my ****, guess what i find. some chanel earrings. i know it doesn't sound that serious but this has been happening every day. whether it's big or small. i could be trippin but i don't think so. and you know i get bothered here and there, but lately i've been picking my self up just like that. i don't know what it is, but god is watching over me every night and i just really have that good feeling. also i've been watching a lot of tv during this lockdown. i've finished this is us, all american, love is blind (meh), outer banks, and euphoria. i also watched the movie "all the bright places". it was so sad. i even picked up a book. "the perks of being a wallflower". 10/10 HANDS DOWN. best book ever. i'm a senior now!! anyways, i hope you are healthy and doing well. keep being you and never forget your values. F*CK IT UP B*TCH!!! - your 16 year old self, AJ