A letter from April 30th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, hey you, happy birthday! whereever you are now, i know you've been through a lot. keep hanging there,syif! you got this. i hope by now you already be a doctor, a good one i hope. im sitting on my bed, quarentine bcs of this ****** corona virus, writing a letter for you, to cheering you up, to reminds you, buat nyampe ke posisi lo sekarang itu ga gampang. you've been through a lot of breakdown moment and stuff, lack of self esteem, insecure all the time. but look at you now. you, keep doing what you want, keep living this life, i know you can, boo. i hope you have a good good life,maybe already find someone who you really love too! send my love to him xoxo. 5 years huh, its a long time tbh. idk what kind of person i would be 5 years from now. but fyi, i've been dreaming to study abroad at the first time, but its turns out just gonna be my DREAM. susah nekk well that's fine, i hope by now you already prepared to take ppds to UI (or maybe you already in the business hon!). idk,do you still want to be a pediatrician? or take a big risk and become a surgeon? i do believe in goodwill, and i know you have that. you want to take care of others, you always put everyone first before yourself. im 19 when i write this for you, in the middle of regreting situation. i hope you're not regreting anything by that time. ok, enough for the goals-talk, cs i know whatever you will end up gonna be, you still you. and i love you! now lets talk about what's going on NOW, on your 19's. first, lame topics, i finnaly get over from oyan. it's all done now. recently im so exited to look up for u.s and u.k college. you know you really want to study abroad. and there's so much going on right now, skripsi (wish me luck!), and complicated self talk. like i wanna be succes, be wealthy, ngl i hope you're finance is good by now. hm, right now, im not into relationship and stuff, just not find someone who i want yet.- yea you know. i am fat, like a pig now, but now im on diet, i hope it works cs it's ******* me, GOD! btw its ramadhan now, but there's no ramadhan atmosphere, cs again, ****** **** corona. mami is health alhamdulillah,i hope she's still health by that time, she's 'kinda' happy with abi. yea you know hm, what else you wanna know? friends? now my go-to and my 911 friend is just teteh. mitha is more real life go-to, not to tell something type of friend. hhh, i wish i can write something a little longer for you. well, stay healthy ok? be happy, keep being your self, you already are amazing. good luck with whatever you're dealing with. dont forget to call mami. pray for papi. call ibu and datuk. they're person behind you untill you got to that position syif. and im so proud of you. love, your 19's version of your self.