A letter from April 28th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, 28042020 Dear future Alysha Today is a sad day for the old you. Been crying and having heart ache of missing home and mixed feelings. Feeling of unwanted, feeling of insecurities and feeling dumb all over again and again. It’s true when they said, you cannot live when you’re having a heart broken. All you can do is just breathing, without feel alive. You wake up a day you will feel good and happy, but then you wake up tomorrow, you will feel so sad until you beg to god to make you die. You always need the assurance that people will never leave you, cause dear Alysha you’re afraid of losing anymore. My dear self, it is okay to cry especially when it is the time of the month. You know, sometimes it’s just the thoughts and you lost within it. You drown in it. But, dearself. You have moved so far. You’re making good progress. The loneliness will be your bestfriend one day, until you no longer afraid of being alone. Do not push people too hard to make them stay. Let those that decide to stay, to stay in your life. You are no one to make them wants you. All you have is only your ownself. One day, you will look at your ownself, and be grateful for what had happened today. I promise you Alysha.