Hope for the future.

Dear FutureMe, I wish I could say something profound and hopeful for myself to read in a year, maybe two, when I'm possibly in one of those horrible positions of sadness. I can't though. All I can do is tell myself what I've learned and why this journey is worthwhile. Those depressed moods happen sometimes. Sometimes because of all the stress, sometimes because you feel inferior because of your looks or intelligence or because some people can handle so much more than you can and sometimes just because. I'm average though and that's all I can ask for. I'm not as beautiful as some people, but not as bad looking as others. I don't do as well as my friends academically because I don't try hard enough. But I don't try because I can't handle the pressure. I deal with that though. I'm depressed a lot. And that's pathetic. I hope I can find a way to fix that w/o medication. Being so dependent on some pill is pathetic too. But once I'm finished with school and I can make decisions myself without the over-competitive school setting and weirdly strict grandparents I will be better. I will have a life and purpose and someone to help me along the way without criticizing my choices. That's why you keep doing what your doing. So, before you graduate, remember those things. Love, PastMe