<3 Sam

Dear Sam, I'm sure when you get this you will remember writing it and be glad it finally came. Today back in 2010 Paul is deployed and it has been a little of 2 months. So when you read this be proud of yourself because some days just living without him is the hardest day you've ever had until another day proves you wrong because it gets a little bit harder. In 2010 you would give anything in the world just to see him home safe. Please don't forget what it feels like to be alone, give Paul kisses every day like he has been gone a year and deploying again. When he argues with you, or makes you cry, or disagrees remember sitting at the computer wishing that you could at the very least argue with him so you would at least know that he is home safe. Don't let the little stuff get to you, just focus on loving yourself and your husband. Right now you have a month until starting school. I hope you did well and actually have a job in some kind of medical clinic. You are very smart, don't forget to use it every once in awhile. You have the potential to be anything you want, take advantage of that and don't let anyone tell you any different. Right now back in 2010 I want to be a mommy more than anything. I found out that I have endometriosis and it will be difficult but right now I love for future me to have a little boy or a little girl. I love the names Tyler Matthew, and Madelynn.. I don't quite have a middle name yet. I do go to church every Sunday and I hope you still do even when you are living the life in Hawaii. God is the one that made that possible so you need to be thanking him for that and you can always go to him for help. He does know whats best for you. Right now my favorite bible verse is Romans 13:8-10. Read it really quick if you forgot it and it wouldnt' be a bad idea to live by that verse. Hopefully you haven't made up excuses not to go to church, If you have been you really should go and find a good methondist church near by and start attending. I hope within the week of getting this email you seriously consider it. Just remember what it felt like to miss your husband and really cherish his company and his love while he is still home. Make sure you keep in contact with your family too. Love Samantha