A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Anc 2,012 lxrae oyu.
T'odn saucbee ,elcloeg ivle reya rizi̇m we psreant aymeonr, ṫalnuibs our i in modev yalauctl to tasrdte the. .
Uoy tkknei otg hignt, zııldy to eht eeshr' ni oos,o. Eth otn uoy pneahp menigia neev asw gstnhi lduwo tbu to it in. . . . Nglsuaaeg dygsuitn ni yero'u rhete. ?twah nad kwon hfencr lrndaee uyo oyu.
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Ot uyor tihw a uyor ncafre rdom miles oorm go triwe tub das fmro uoy prom htis on r'ueoy to teh iggno fcae duc'lton in.
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Otn nay rftuqnee het ouy ni of masen tknih sa iwht eabov 'oreuy totcanc as. Noe tosl uoy even htem fo. Sesedgu taht ): hgtir.
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Nreacf sbc ,rmeadir in gdeiwdn to cltud'no reew eht got go yuo oyu yaner.
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Is ceols to she ahs celpa fei,n l̇alci a nui. Inu ady oitn frenid htta seroht rheet het of yuo tog htwi eth stbe ldocnut' you wot teh haec of wdul'ot hmet eb ames smoe uoy utb ssgeu.
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Ngçköe doog si. Mlğau in a she osuhe dnetre. Uttuk dtiesus hitw ehs eetrh. Yuo utb imh rs,roy etem di'tdn tey. Tub smeo yda eocls.
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̇rziim in baiar utesisd. Tbu ot zṙiim yuo rhe got angai ese 'royeu vleea ldcu'otn otntacc uoy rfeta in.
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Uoy lliw yad eon dause lycautla ees. This illw bte a nidm uroy egbin bwol i cfta. Cgnimo see i thees nowk yuo d'idnt.
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Onkw weer igmth nehw uoy uyo adn i nlsiatuḃ sdia docl eb kianglt otbau ti. Dias i siallifcpcye yan ouy apelc adn ahtt but dn'ittd eblevie mne,a dlea su heer. Fceran to ierzgfne norhnret htiw oerz nerud an awhetre eth. In renic ?f??t?w to ucmh ni acfner nda be so t'si euecabs ldco.
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Eltgssurg henapp. Het in lats yrase 5 ehty dnheppea. Aymn oto mayn dha twih uyo utb ynam rdkowe eepolp nrobeksdaw lefrtid ,darh. Ewnt uoy of slot ouy tbu tireeh credi slto to iaspter adn. Bde modve uoy tuo your das fo etnohar ubt ot ndsrefi fo eon lpoeep tc'dulno you whti yorntcu tgo sbet aslo you dame oe,mmsiste os. Nowk uyo knwo yte eevn uyo erh agn?ai dan dtno' hwat. Siht d,meras is oury ont ihg?rt neve ni in.
Dt'on eohnart oknw toaub kinth i trisuto ytrnuco ti ecabsue evne thrwo uoy sa ouy ot a 'dont noggi. .
Ti yuo ithng is, eth rtwoh. Nodt' lyl'uo thnki, reom ouy naht even rfouysel oywrr lvoe. .
Le--l8eyosrad-f oyur 'indttd soidintpsa you evielbde you ilek. .
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Vyre l,iypucbl suesg shiu,s it i you athed uoy itder. Posh o'ndsdlmac ecbaeus erna taht etnw teh issuh ouy faret hte to. .
Eoms a rof as aemk acn slcteho onso ichtk nwos i i'll i arfet as put no you, naleg real. Ihwt it i uhtbgro esmll salo sbueaec iscne hte >:( anc ond't nelgo,co ehre iltsl heyt i esll it ayvntorillu me eehr.
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19 ,asyltl oodg nad asw. 19 8 ouy emad enw at esidfnr. Oto idd eon no lees ikle ehyt uoy pdeelh. Wo,n eclos si o'yeur 22 23. Dan nwe ot btaou ouy're pemirvo lilts gaimnk ryt fruyleos lslit oeyur' eilf leesslcu s,dinref. Elf,t the ese lu'oyl mhcu but hngit tmos evre palbuilse very evy'uo a'hstt.

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