A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Nac uyo 022,1 larxe.
Asrdett o,lecgel ni i eht raey ot moenya,r ̇imizr dovem ew staerpn u̇tiblnsa nod't ruo liev usbeace uayalctl. .
Nhgit, ikknte otg oo,so uyo e'ehrs eth ni ot ıyızdl. Luowd nto ti tub het ot yuo htsngi vene was iamnieg in epnhap. . . . Gagleasun ereht uo'ery uisgtnyd in. Adn awth? uyo owkn you cefhrn aednrle.
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Ertwi ecaf hte giong euor'y a utb omdr prmo omor og c'utlond uoy to ads semli oyur no mfor earcnf in htwi ot this your.
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Ureyo' in sa masen of utrefneq uyo hte tcotnca hwit intkh sa aobev ont ayn. Neo temh lost of enev oyu. :) irhtg gessude that.
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Dtucoln' csb ouy eht ni dgdnewi go rynae got rewe yuo redm,iar ot fcnaer.
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Lȧcil ash ei,fn to esh iun clape ceosl a si. Tog sgesu tow fo uni rfnedi thsero doutw'l smea eth into yuo htiw you the bset day hte ttah aceh ntcou'ld osem of yuo thme eb btu eehtr.
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Is ogdo çökgne. In dreent seh heuso ulmağ a. Utukt esdistu hes tereh wthi. Rr,yos you hmi teem tye utb tidnd'. Csole esom ayd tub.
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Dssiteu iżirm abair ni. Uoy tunldoc' naagi trefa uy'eor hre ctaoctn ouy ees ot ̇rzmii tub ni eaevl tgo.
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Ees uased neo lwil cualylta ouy day. Lilw i ctaf owbl a tish nimd uyor bet neigb. Ouy i ese teshe wokn 'tdidn icongm.
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It nad oyu be hnew atbou asdi ̇bnisatlu dloc gthim aigntkl i erew wnko you. Tbu beielve lcecafsipyli ayn i us dale taht sadi capel na,me adn here dt'ntid uoy. Rgzenfie wiht neohrntr roze to rnued arehtwe het rcenaf an. ??w?tf? ot mchu ernacf euabces eb i'ts in dan cenri os dolc ni.
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Aephpn sueglrsgt. Neehppad atls eth hyet 5 yesra in. Hdar, plpoee nyam feltidr wthi ouy too ubt snebadkorw namy had edkorw amny. Fo ierhte ot twne nda ouy tsol ecdir esiatrp oslt but uyo. Tub tsbe ltdnc'ou oruy domev neo wtih haroetn ot also uyo oppele meda uto of deb uoy of ogt nurctoy os yuo das sie,mosemt ersifnd. Odt'n wnko nda ?ainag uyo yet thwa nvee hre oyu nkow. Resa,dm nto is trg?ih ni hsit vene uroy in.
Uescbea enve ti as ohtwr i sirutot btauo ogngi oyu a t'ond ot cnuyotr yuo d'tno nwko kniht narthoe. .
Het ,is tgnih it twhro uoy. Uoy no'dt ihtkn, yorrw sorleyuf o'llyu tanh eenv remo loev. .
Uryo ekli eeedivlb oyu aidsnspoti lfdeaeor-l-8-sy ddntit' oyu. .
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Dteah oyu ti ,blpiyulc i gseus tdrei ryve oyu ui,hss. Eht eanr rafte the isuhs pohs ot enwt htat dsnocad'lm oyu beuaesc. .
Sonw orf i on arel as kaem sa nleag ,ouy eosm ptu raeft elcosht lli' nac ithck a i oons. Esll >(: ntd'o eth ehre it eyth oasl lemsl bghtruo rhee eescuba cna thiw i iyrvtolanul me oco,gnle eiscn sltil i it.
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Nda 91 lytl,sa wsa gdoo. You 8 denfirs mead new 91 ta. Eyht did hedple one oto uyo esle ekil no. 32 22 eur'yo slcoe ow,n is. Dan to litsl nikamg sfdre,ni obuta 'oyeur uyorlsef nwe ivprmeo isltl elif ye'rou sceuelsl yrt. 'hatst gihnt hte iepausllb ,flet uol'yl eyrv o'euvy see tbu mtos uhmc eevr.

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