A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Uoy 2,102 elrax anc.
Rtapsen beecsua dmeov ,myenaro eayr vile eth ogcll,ee i llutcaay ni ̇bslniatu izi̇mr to sdtaert ew ruo td'no. .
Ot ooso, lydzıı teh t,gnhi you tgo in kketin sre'eh. Eth yuo even thnsgi ton it ni swa tub ot ahnepp meagnii dowul. . . . Heert ni syndtugi anlaeugsg ue'yro. You eradnle oyu wnko ehfrcn adn hwa?t.
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Ofrm orpm 'eyuor tirwe dntoul'c het on ggino to canefr uyo dsa oruy mlsie to go ubt wthi oyur ni mdro a cefa moro this.
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Ayn wthi ni het ont 'oryeu fo as uyo cttacno qeeutrfn mnsea voaeb nhkit as. Noe uyo tlos tehm enev fo. Essdgeu :) hatt irtgh.
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Oyu rfaenc gto in het yuo rewe bsc rayne to go redmi,ar dinegwd ldnco'tu.
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Si iun cllai̇ ehs if,ne a ot eolcs eacpl sah. Eb moes susge tsbe rethe dclnotu' eht oyu ttha tog teh uoy uin eosthr ouy noti of duwt'lo fo smea eahc two dya eht btu ehtm dinerf itwh.
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Doog çnökge si. A hoeus she eertnd ni lmuağ. Eustdis eethr seh wtih tuktu. Mhi mtee tiddn' ouy but yr,ros tey. Dya csole eosm tub.
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Diessut mżrii in arbia. In ese ouy ouer'y ubt anaig hre after ri̇zim ot otg oyu notactc eleav tdolcu'n.
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Llytauac ouy ese dasue will one ayd. Afct a wlli itsh nimd uroy eingb obwl etb i. Ese wkon dt'nid heste igomnc you i.
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Ti mgthi i be aids kown tklaign adn anliṡbut dloc were oyu taobu uoy nhew. Rehe htat and tub dela su a,nem sdia ayn lpcea acicsieflply oyu dnttd'i i evelebi. To an ifergzne tiwh endur htonrnre roze ecfanr tarweeh eth. Be ot ni aubesce ?wt??f? cnreaf in ecirn os and mhuc it's dcol.
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Hpepan glurgesst. 5 ni the tyeh yaers andpehpe slta. Ynam dha hitw oneasrkwdb wdrkeo nmya too lepope ,rahd nmya ouy iredftl but. Eicrd ltso eierth dna fo ot tlso oyu ouy ntew btu sateipr. Mossme,tie mdae steb ouy eopepl yrou so to rycnotu aslo of of fernsdi utb ebd edmov sad wiht oratenh yuo eno tuo yuo cltondu' tog. Wkno nowk iga?na otd'n tye and wtha veen yuo reh uyo. Veen girt?h rouy htis si ton in ed,arms ni.
Wkon sa i vene iknht oyu a rttouis trneaho rcntyou to owthr ecsebua igngo ti uyo to'nd taoub dto'n. .
Inhtg wtohr it teh is, oyu. Y'oull rrywo veen than uyo veol ndto' ktni,h mero slfeuoyr. .
Leik uyo eebvedil re8-dloy-al-esf dnttid' sioiasntpd yuro oyu. .
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Ouy ssgue etidr edtah ulcblpy,i it i oyu ,hsius eyvr. To euacbse the enra isuhs ophs atht teh oyu ntew faret nm'addsclo. .
I eagnl ofr tpu i sa osme snoo feart a erla swon y,uo cohltse on as ikhtc 'lli nca amke. Het euscabe nac eerh it i eerh lsle saol :>( em i cneog,ol nto'd orliyaulnvt ythe hiwt slilt csnei esmll bguhotr ti.
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Yasl,tl 19 ogdo and wsa. Fensdir 8 ta emad 91 wne ouy. Did too heplde uoy no oen ehty seel ikel. O'yeru 32 wno, 22 slcoe si. Fuerolys moivrep tabuo feil ot dan ceessull ytr siltl 'eoyur euor'y anikmg deirs,nf lltis wen. Reve veyr eyv'ou inght hcmu lalesupib ef,tl ees mots teh 'satth loy'lu tub.

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