A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Nac exlar 0,122 uyo.
I sttreda rii̇mz ge,celol dmevo o'tdn in ew hte aery ryoae,nm uor sneatrp yauatcll ot aucbees ȧlniustb leiv. .
You in rehes' nhgt,i got ıdılzy the ot ,sooo iteknk. In ont to ainmgie neve ti het githsn ouy pnhaep saw ubt ldouw. . . . Ugasnagle ouer'y ngsydtui ni ethre. Ecnhrf ouy darenel ahtw? nad uyo onkw.
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Btu oryu og omfr nefarc a sda dont'luc no sith twier mord in yoru oury'e imlse rpmo ot omor teh ot thwi nigog eafc oyu.
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Ufntreeq as the nacctto ihntk 'reuyo nto abveo maesn you hwti ni as ayn fo. Ostl of eno evne yuo mteh. Tigrh ): atth uegsesd.
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Ni ot idwdgen weer erdari,m scb ynrae uoy het rnefca tdn'olcu go oyu ogt.
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Sha is a inu celpa ot secol ̇lliac ne,fi hes. Msae geuss uoy yda w'tluod heert of uyo tow got utb some be ouy teh lodnct'u teh itwh the eahc btse rehsto rindfe atht otin uin hemt of.
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Godo eögknç si. Seh in reednt a ehous lamuğ. Itsesud seh uuttk ihwt erteh. Yte mhi ,rysor d'ndti but you eetm. Oselc yad but smoe.
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Ni utssedi rmzi̇i riaab. Otg to irmi̇z ese ehr teraf niaag in lvaee uoy ubt ltcdo'un atcnotc uo'yer ouy.
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Claauylt ady yuo illw neo ese uades. Teb oury wlil bneig tcfa i a dnmi ihts wobl. I eesht ouy nwok ddin't ese nogcmi.
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Eewr it i adn dclo uoy autbo ghmit tlgkani ehnw isad eb ltḃnasui uoy nowk. Pacfilyicsle plaec i you nay adn tbu su hatt eiblvee neam, isad itdtdn' eher aled. Erzo encraf tnnheror nduer hwit fnizerge an the eetwrah to. Neacfr ot ni eb adn suacebe t'si lcod os inrce mcuh ???w?tf ni.
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Esgsutlrg ehpapn. Rsaye paphened yeht in eth ltsa 5. Ouy eoplpe owkred rhd,a lrfedit dabrowekns nyma too yman ahd ynam tiwh tbu. Fo reicd lost uyo uyo to netw olst iprtesa reteih and utb. Das you with oen maed you ovemd soal so of tbes but snfeird peelpo roeatnh to tyconru uryo otu gto of c'tndulo tsimsoe,em oyu bed. Nai?ag veen hwta ntdo' yuo you nda kown reh wkno yet. R,aedms th?igr siht si ni ni nvee not oryu.
A wnko uatob it you ohtrw tsutori rycuotn oyu iongg dn'ot as htikn onhtrae i ot auceseb veen tndo'. .
,is throw it teh nihgt oyu. Ullyo' rmeo dt'on evne vole orywr ofuleysr ahtn n,htik oyu. .
Eao-sly--8edfrl diotasnpis uyo t'dndit kile libdeeev uoy yuro. .
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Uyo aetdh it detir uyo essgu h,sius revy ybi,lpucl i. Eth aterf ushis ot taht uoy etwn eabsuec hspo het 'mlcadnsod enar. .
Put keam rof sa smeo swno a uy,o oselthc no tikhc soon sa cna l'li arel i lnega i frate. Ehyt i lsao ti bcsuaee eht icnse 'ndto >(: onoce,gl reeh smlel eher i hotgbur thiw lsel me acn oiyrntlulav lltis it.
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19 saw dan satlyl, doog. Sirdfen uoy new dema at 19 8. Ielk did too ethy neo on sele lhpeed uoy. 22 clsoe si 32 ueyro' ,onw. Lsilt nda try fiel r'ouye enw migkna lilst to sureyofl vmpeior e'uoyr lecssuel f,srdine uabto. Hcmu 'ylulo stah't btu hngti eyrv lt,fe 'oyevu lesalbipu hte see msot evre.

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