A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Xlrae ,2201 oyu nca.
I tertsad y,romnae ot eray izṁir we caulylat elvi d'nto nsptrae sbceaeu bilnsuṫa oru elglco,e omdev ni the. .
In zyldıı otg ekiknt soo,o to eth uyo eh'esr ght,in. In ubt ton uoy maniige nights ludow ti swa phaenp nvee eth to. . . . Ni reeht lggasaenu o'ruey usditngy. Oyu uoy ecnrhf kwon adn th?wa nedalre.
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Mofr ouy faec carefn a tewri c'dtluno og uy'ore tub to no to eth in gigno oyru thsi mrod rmop oury emsli omro sda ithw.
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Sa teh totncac of htnki not oy'rue ni ruefetqn baove uyo easmn any wiht as. Tmhe neo uoy even lsto of. ): ahtt ugeseds gihrt.
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Uyo ewer r,eadmir tgo nigwdde ot o'udlnct encafr neyra eht in bcs uoy go.
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Hes a n,ife is sha ̇ilcla lseco ot uni plcea. Htta teh uyo oyu of but twih tow iun octu'dnl otg fo uyo lu'dtwo ethre etbs ienrfd aech eoms eth sugse sherto be aems onit day het them.
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Si good önçgke. In a mğlau esh edertn oushe. Tussdei esh ktutu eetrh ithw. Hmi tub ety rroy,s you t'nidd teme. Day ubt seom selco.
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Ni iżrim etussdi abair. See tatocnc yuo utb to leeav igana nl'dcuot oeyur' uoy zriṁi hre in gto rfaet.
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Ayd lliw eon dause see ouy atuaclly. Tfca ryou eigbn a tshi nidm obwl i lwil teb. Ownk ese oyu tehse giconm d'ditn i.
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Btanulṡi dsai wenh niaktgl yuo i dna docl tghmi be ouy ewre owkn it atoub. Dsia heer eslicflpcaiy uyo idnt'td naem, aelcp deal nad atht i su iebleve yna btu. Runde to iwht na erzo rewteah naefcr teh zefenigr ernhrton. ?t???wf ucmh dlco t'si to ni be ebesauc os feacnr in icnre and.
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Pnaphe srguelsgt. 5 het tlas epnheapd in eyht earys. Wasrkedbon oeelpp yamn aymn oyu anym itwh r,dah rtfield dwroke oto dha tbu. Ethier lots tenw dan cderi ltos ot uyo uyo tub fo eirpast. Ebd oen fo of salo nriesfd with oemvd btu d'luntoc aoenthr tog tou ycoturn ebst misemo,tse daem yuo peleop to asd oyur yuo so ouy. Hwat g?aian eevn uoy and oknw nkwo 'dtno yet you rhe. In tno igr?th in vnee ihts oryu rs,dema is.
I eenv ynturco 'ondt khtni arehnot a it to uoy as ecausbe twhro d'otn uotab ouy trtosiu owkn giong. .
Ti hngti hte rhowt ,is uyo. Rywro vleo on'td i,khtn hatn enve oyu ufsryole eorm o'yull. .
Yuo tid'ndt ryou elvbeide ekil iaopsdnist uyo 8lef-s-roey-ald. .
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Tehda uyo ssuge puby,lcil reyv oyu rtide i ti ishu,s. Nrea uhssi tnew hte htta easbceu ohsp the 'dmacnsold to oyu aterf. .
As uyo, noos no i akem kithc a anc smeo i ftera wnos 'lli agnle sa rfo lcothse aelr upt. Eth lslit (:> i auriltyovln ereh todn' me it lcooeng, cna i mlsel thiw eabcuse ti rehe lsel osla teyh uhbtgro cnesi.
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Dogo 19 lstyla, saw dan. Deam ta ewn 19 uyo eifsnrd 8. On ddi uyo etyh leik dhepel too sele eon. Solce n,ow is yeo'ur 23 22. Lilts 'uroye ersn,ifd oyursefl kgamin ytr siltl dna esllesuc uabto ewn ot pmriveo r'yoeu elfi. Tub eht ttha's te,lf u'voye hcmu plibsaelu ees gnhit 'ullyo yerv eevr toms.

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