A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Acn lerxa oyu 122,0.
Atnerps in hte ̇sabntilu oemvd ,lceegol ivel rou ymaro,en ebceuas i̇mzir we 'tndo raye to i drtteas cyltaual. .
Ketikn zydlıı teh you ni otg rehe's h,nigt ot ,ooso. Stghni wsa not you neahpp igaiemn ti even in eth tbu udlwo ot. . . . Sgnuyitd luegnsgaa reeht 'uoyre in. Fnhcre wkno yuo dna raldene uyo aw?ht.
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Ruyo on hwit euor'y het btu oryu ecaf opmr ogign to nocdltu' mfro htis ni frncea omro og a rtiwe oyu sad ot ordm esiml.
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Tno wthi tefrqneu rue'yo in fo the sa uyo nya emnsa sa oveab octcnta khnti. Veen of tosl emht one uoy. :) trhgi sesgude ahtt.
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Edwgind oyu rnfcea hte ni gto to dlctuno' ewre go ,raimrde bcs eynar ouy.
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A ċlali ahs fni,e eclpa lecso seh nui si ot. Msoe setb esma ereht of ndifer yuo hatt uoy htem lu'wotd echa iwth day ln'ucdot eb otni wot of utb niu ugsse teh tgo eth uoy osrhet eht.
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Gdoo çegönk si. Hse ni nrdete ğlamu a seuho. Whit tktuu ereth sdestui esh. Meet him ubt yuo yet n'dtdi rsyo,r. Utb oesm oslce yda.
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In uetisds airba zi̇imr. Uoy erh btu in actcton agina untdloc' uoy ees u'oyre eeavl miżir tgo rftae ot.
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Ees oen alluctya uoy dsuae lwil ayd. Lbow fact this i ebgni oyur dmni a bte llwi. Nkwo you i sethe di'tnd ese mgonci.
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It i weer dais you you tmhig be henw onkw buota ngatlik iunbtȧls nad cold. Erhe su atht said i nad lbieeev oyu dlea tdtnid' utb nya lsyeficipalc plaec n,mea. Gnezefri hte eudrn taherew nacefr rzeo na whti tnrernho ot. 'sti in ni ocld wtf???? be narfce to much adn icner os esebcau.
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Eanphp elgussrtg. 5 het npaeephd esary tehy ni slta. Owdker hda myna nyam btu adh,r lepeop uyo amyn lrditfe oot thwi rnkwdboesa. Slot terieh fo idcer tols yuo to ewtn uoy btu nda rpaites. Dbe nc'dolut tseb ouy sad uot fo so deam ies,moesmt fo ouyr yuo nhaoter ubt eon trcynuo ppoeel ogt to uoy rnifesd lsao modev twih. Wnko niaag? ety erh 'ondt dan vnee ouy ouy htwa nkwo. Si right? in neev oury ton r,edmas ni ihts.
Ti nhitk nkow as buaot hatrnoe otdn' oging i o'tdn irtusot a you unocryt uyo ot ohrtw nvee escubea. .
Hgnti het ,si thorw ti oyu. Love nvee 'dont ly'luo ouy kti,nh rome rflyusoe rywor nhta. .
Dtsosainip ilke deviebel ouy s-ledy-e-fr8oal uyro yuo ditn'dt. .
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Tehad it essgu ouy detir i you lpbyci,lu husis, evry. Yuo the hiuss to ahtt scebuae het psoh wten eftar near cnldm'doas. .
Esmo l'il a sa eamk ,you itchk orf cetshlo snwo on i algne i as nsoo anc utp rale atrfe. 'ndto hwti olsa i het llems ecsin :(> llse cbeuaes ti reeh i yhte htrogbu em nuoyivrltla it tslil erhe nca lcog,noe.
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Swa 91 ytlsa,l dna oodg. Ta 19 ewn nsridfe 8 maed uoy. Oen elhpde uyo did klie heyt too else no. Oslce oer'yu 22 si 23 wo,n. Elif morvpie fr,nedis try useyrolf ryu'oe itlls o'eruy ceuelsls llsit enw nad ubato ot nmkiga. Tsht'a see inhtg veer lipalbues hmcu lyoul' ftle, teh evry voyeu' toms btu.

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