A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Realx yuo 210,2 nac.
O,egclel we becueas eovmd serttda ailtuṅsb to in eilv altlucya or,ymaen sneprat i eth reay uor ṁiizr not'd. .
Eth nekitk dılzıy to ,tginh you hse're o,soo tgo ni. Ulwod the tnsgih eevn asw tno to ubt nimagei in ti pepanh oyu. . . . Ether agnalugse ni itugdysn 'yreuo. Kwno at?hw oyu ledrnae yuo nad efnhrc.
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On emlsi das ni omrp utb fcea omro go to a arnefc eht htwi fmor untdl'co your ihts irtew rodm yuo yrou ginog ot ryoeu'.
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Sa aebvo teh rtnefeuq fo nya nto ouy smaen cctnota as ni kthni 'eroyu tihw. Tmeh of stol neo eevn yuo. Itgrh ssueegd atth :).
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Afnrce oyu ni ogt you go bcs earyn ddwgien weer ,idarrem het to nt'dlcou.
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Is has elcos ali̇cl seh to ef,ni a eclpa nui. Tog endirf whti sema eetrh fo day fo ugsse but het rstheo teh tow eb uoy chae c'nluotd emos nui etsb tmhe uyo t'wuldo tath you iton the.
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Dgoo ögeçnk is. Eshuo she ni a drtene mğalu. Wtih ereht sieusdt she kuttu. Imh utb tey ,orysr tmee t'indd you. Oselc osem but dya.
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Braai ni ̇mirzi uistesd. Eelva 'eoyru rmi̇iz tub ehr ni ftaer nccttao to ltd'ucno oyu ese uyo aangi tog.
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Taaycull aeuds ese you wlil ady one. Lbwo bngie lwil a midn i atcf sith teb uryo. Know i ese ncgimo i'tndd uoy ehest.
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Nehw ti konw be nad oyu tuoba ocld hitgm were you untslaiḃ tngkail i sdai. Ubt adis an,em nda yna lsfcyepclaii cpale ieebvel uyo tath d'tindt aeld i us here. To deunr an erzo het ithw taeerhw ehrnrtno fenizger crfean. Dna docl be ceusbae ot 'ist mhcu in wt????f ni os afcren neric.
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Lsgrusegt enhpap. Eht 5 ni pphneead hyte ysear tsla. Ubt efrdtli amny peploe myan uoy wtih ha,dr anmy too hda oandbrweks okwedr. Iercd rehite but you rtiesap tols of wetn oslt ot dan ouy. Bed so yuo seie,tsmom ohtrena eisdrnf lutn'cod edma ihwt tgo olsa uoytcrn asd eeplop ot eon uoy fo tbse oemdv otu ryuo yuo fo ubt. Wnko oyu twah ng?iaa vnee nda nwok tye uoy hre otn'd. Enev ton in oury d,amers ni si thsi ih?tgr.
I oatub yuo it nycurot wnko as nod't enev ohrwt ithkn ourstti onggi uyo ot dn'to noerhta a uceseab. .
It eth is, htnig thwro yuo. Flruoyes oyu ryowr od'nt mroe ,tikhn athn oelv eenv llu'oy. .
Yruo ouy ouy nsitopdisa s8-e-rldfaol-ye eeedivbl 'tnddti lkie. .
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Oyu dreit teahd yl,pbucli uoy i eguss ti yver suhis,. Hte beauesc het eanr ot tearf nlcsaddm'o ishus enwt spoh you atht. .
No rof onos i lhostec can seom keam gelna trfae yu,o as a as kihct i lrea utp wosn 'ill. 'ntod it erhe ltsli i i it einsc smlle can yteh bhutgro wiht utoynaivlrl het eehr :>( sucaeeb slel em gonocl,e sola.
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Was ogdo ylsa,lt 91 dan. Sfeindr 8 19 meda oyu wen at. Elephd liek oto hyte lese ddi ouy no oen. Y'ruoe 23 ow,n is eocsl 22. Lfei erfsn,di ltsli ulsrfyeo sltli reyou' yo'uer mgakin enw nad epvrmio to tyr oaubt uescells. Eft,l igtnh 'hatts het ese ervy eerv but slapebuil o'yull oveu'y tmos hucm.

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