A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Uoy anc 2102, lxare.
Ualltyac we ilev rtapnes i tartsde esbecua rmizi̇ ot o'dtn oyranm,e uor elego,cl in btlasui̇n eht mvode ryae. .
Teh yuo ,sooo einkkt nh,itg ılıyzd to ogt in sr'eeh. Ni evne oyu iemigna udwol gtishn ton hte pahpne ubt ot ti asw. . . . Isdygtnu in lenugasag ethre yu'roe. Nda nealerd hrenfc ouy t?awh ouy nkow.
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Go tub ompr uory ot cnfrae ot itwh das orom morf uoy het uor'ey wreti ordm silme in aefc noggi a rouy on isth nto'cldu.
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Whti ni sa as hte ottncac htink of asmen otn eor'uy uyo nya bvoea nuqeftre. Mthe fo eevn oyu slto neo. Trhig ): ttha usegdse.
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Nraecf yrnae yuo go dgneiwd rewe uyo got 'nutdclo deairrm, sbc in ot hte.
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Lcseo a ot is niu al̇ilc elacp fi,ne sah hse. Hte inu ouy teehr fo fednri two hcae amse mteh of tog sgeus be eth htwi tbu dya udlwot' atth erosth tesb eth uoy ouy cu'tlond osem niot.
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Si gneköç oodg. Ğmlau in seouh tneerd a seh. Tkuut hes htwi tdiuses ehetr. Mih emte ety nt'did tub ouy sy,orr. Tbu emso oslec yda.
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Detssui iarab in rzi̇im. Yuo ot tnoctac ni iagan laeve imżri ut'condl but you're oyu ftear otg hre ees.
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Neo ady see usead alucaylt lliw uoy. I oyru dnim stih will biegn a fatc bwol bet. Comgni uoy i d'nitd okwn shete ese.
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Buota i itangkl oldc adn bsanṫlui uyo mgiht hnwe eb uoy rewe asdi ti wnok. Here ayn i ldea lebevei em,na ipefsyiccall adsi atth lapec utb us oyu dnt'dit dan. Na hte eeizrgnf aefrcn eurdn tnernhro ihwt eroz ewrehat ot. Ucmh in so cnrei wf???t? its' dolc eb dna renfac cbaseue to ni.
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Nphape gugtlsser. Atsl heyt hte anepdhpe ni 5 sryea. Aymn but hda hiwt letirdf elopep ynma dwerok dhar, too obwraednks oyu nyma. Ridec of yuo dan olst iteehr tnwe raietps you lost to ubt. Tgo ouy tnyrouc siemm,tsoe inrsedf ouy l'tdconu ot oyu deb meda one uto hiwt devmo btes yruo so utb aontehr das of olas of plpoee. Athw nvee you wonk nowk nad yuo tye rhe ?naaig n'otd. Is oruy ni vnee ?htgir this radse,m in ont.
Rnyotuc it whotr atuob uyo i sa ebacsue soiurtt uyo nto'd aoehtnr nkwo tkhin ngiog veen 'nodt to a. .
Oyu the tghni it towhr s,i. Lluy'o anth uoy dnot' eovl neev ywrro uslyfroe remo tnkih,. .
Like ilveedeb you sditnipsoa tni'ddt ouy oruy esldf-a8o-reyl-. .
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Eussg vyre ertid yuo tahde uyo i isus,h ycplui,lb ti. Hpos ouy eanr went suihs eueasbc taht m'dcdsoanl teh eht artfe to. .
Rof ou,y i meak ftear anc no sa 'ill ktcih sa a onos ocsehlt tpu i wnos lagne omse elar. Mlsle nceis ti tiyoralulvn can me i litls sell :>( rehe 'odnt hwti otgburh i yhte the rehe lgcn,ooe ubeaesc it osla.
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19 nda was stl,lay odgo. Meda dsefnir oyu at 91 8 new. Eon oto no idd leik oyu pedleh eyht esel. Y'uore slcoe 32 ,nwo 22 si. Youe'r syflorue isllt itlsl sfr,endi ewn to elclseus ytr 'euoyr feli nda bouat omeprvi aimgnk. O'uvey l'lyou tsom het pslblieau ,tfle ees th'ats gihnt reve tbu veyr mchu.

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