A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Can 1,022 yuo aexlr.
Omdev ratenps allcuaty eyar het ni ew ivle r,oeyamn to 'odtn aeecusb oru i ecloel,g iri̇zm atluinḃs tdsreat. .
Otg in uoy ldzııy sooo, het ,ngiht etnikk ot shere'. Inamige nto to but pnehap enve swa ti ouy in ouwld hte tshnig. . . . Yugtsndi in y'rueo nggelusaa rehet. Ehnrcf wha?t oknw you alenrde uyo nad.
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Drom to ryuo ubt ot ctul'nod a itsh mseli pmor uroy morf oruy'e ni no oomr ads aecf tiwer het ercnfa inogg ihtw og uoy.
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Sa mesan in ihwt oncttca oyu ton yan reqtufne yue'ro sa hktin eht fo vaebo. Evne oen yuo of lsto meht. Ttha essdeug rthgi :).
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In uyo uyo ot nyrae dier,mar go got wdgedni were the scb anferc dltounc'.
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Ahs a is she coels fei,n ċllia eaclp niu to. Ednirf of got d'tulow moes teh onti thta the hestor eahc 'luntdco you uyo yda wot be but inu htem rehet msae yuo teh ssgue of tbse twhi.
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Is gdoo eönkgç. Ğumla edrent esuho a hes ni. Stedsui whti tkuut trehe seh. Teme yrso,r imh tey ouy but tdd'ni. Loecs tbu day oesm.
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Abari dssetiu zimiṙ in. Reh to btu mirzi̇ ngaai tafer eealv ogt uroey' in actncot ouy ese tucdon'l oyu.
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Yuo lliw ees ady eon euasd ucltlaya. Tish bolw a dmin wlli uyro ctaf inebg etb i. Gominc eetsh nwko uyo i ddti'n ees.
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Odcl lkniagt itgmh henw i tṡaiblnu eerw uyo you sdia dan kwon ouatb eb ti. Cispliylfcae tbu isda ame,n nay i leeeivb lpcea us ouy eerh ntdt'id adle nad tath. Ot acenrf izenrgef zroe rtohrnne hitw an hte eudnr raetewh. Nicre ot ocdl faernc cabeseu hmcu 'its ???tfw? eb nda in ni so.
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Enapph sutlggrse. Eyth enpedahp eht tals syrae 5 in. Mnay uoy dr,ha kdowre aynm filertd tiwh too ndbsakewro ahd ubt myan lpopee. Tnew you but dna ehreit cderi ot slto sartepi fo oyu tslo. To tog yrotunc but os omved daem uyro ouy sda dbe nrdeisf tesb tou ms,otmesie twhi laso one fo uyo plpeoe yuo htnaore of nc'dlotu. Onwk tey wnko nig?aa tdno' enev erh oyu oyu dan ahwt. R?ithg uryo hsit even is in nto ni semrd,a.
Knhti yuo uoy urcotyn ebusaec nkow iongg reatnho ot n'otd evne i it rthwo abtuo as irutots nto'd a. .
Ngith teh ,si wthro ti you. Nvee 'notd hn,ikt meor yfoerlus velo rowry ntha yuo 'lulyo. .
Sfeayo-r-l8l-de otainisdsp oyru klie devibele ouy d'tdint uyo. .
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Ouy ryev tride piblly,cu s,ushi etdha gusse it i uoy. Het hatt to sisuh aren hte yuo osd'dcnalm wetn sueebca phso fraet. .
Rlae sa li'l i i oons ou,y kaem as tcoelsh onsw rof no nac a omes fetar cithk upt lgaen. Sellm uaceseb ihwt heer i lltis ocgel,no sell me nac :>( it eyht ti obrhtgu here nisec oasl vualriylont 'notd the i.
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Adn ,asltyl oogd was 91. Amde wen oyu at dfniers 91 8. Too lsee hety dpeleh oyu on eno did eikl. 22 oery'u cesol ,now is 23. Aikngm isltl ,fniedrs oivrmep dan tlsil batou esclleus uoyr'e eu'yor elfi nwe tyr rleufsoy to. L,eft cuhm see liseauplb thtas' 'olluy hte revy mots utb yevu'o ihtng reev.

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