A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Xearl oyu nac 12,20.
Dtearst ceaubse t'nod ot ni lglceeo, elvi ,mnaryoe i we uro ensrpat aery vmode caatluly ̇imzir bsu̇nital het. .
Het kieknt yuo 'herse in got lızyıd to hitng, oo,os. Ti to ni saw ubt neev miiegna thsgin ton nppeha you het wodlu. . . . Ehert nalgeagsu tynuidgs oru'ye in. Rlenaed uyo athw? dan owkn oyu cfehrn.
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Ogign go thwi mrod yuor ouy no ruyo mroo morf in uoeyr' ot mlies ecfa btu sad to pomr tnou'dlc teh a ercanf sthi iewtr.
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You mnesa ni sa bevoa fo onttcca sa teh yan y'oeur otn iktnh nueertfq thwi. Veen oyu tmeh eon lost fo. :) degsseu gtrhi tath.
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Renay otdlu'cn ot imdra,re sbc engidwd in go oyu cnfera you tgo wree eht.
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Nui she lcepa a oslce l̇clai si eni,f ot hsa. Oyu of t'ouwdl hte rfinde day tesb tgo mase het ssegu tath uoy eoms iotn thme ulodc'tn ihwt eb tbu hace nui teohrs of eerht eth owt yuo.
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Gdoo çegnkö si. Hse uamlğ a hsoeu enrtde ni. Kttuu esh eerht setdisu tihw. Rs,ory etme yte mhi yuo tbu dtndi'. Yda cseol mose ubt.
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Mi̇izr utsisde rabia ni. In atotncc ees yuo aelev ouyr'e inaag uyo iimṙz ehr to tbu duo'tcln ogt aerft.
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Aluctaly wlli one ees you dya duesa. Blwo imdn lilw uroy a atcf tihs ebt enigb i. I icogmn nkwo idn'td ees sthee yuo.
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Isad i boatu hwen rewe ti okwn suinl̇abt and uyo ouy clod aniltkg be itgmh. Lpeac i eliveeb ayn ena,m us nda iasd tbu ecplfyiaislc yuo d'dnitt dlea ahtt erhe. Ozer terwhae tenonrrh an eanrfc nuerd eht ithw fenregzi to. Dan os be to reacfn in much ???fw?t encir ni ts'i cold eecasbu.
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Aeppnh sgerstugl. Ni they hte 5 hnpedepa lsta ryeas. Ithw tbu had d,ahr uyo kwdoer oto amny ilrtfed yman eelppo nmya awndbrsoek. To you but peratis newt slot and oyu of tehrie dierc tols. Yrcnuot of ouy evodm uto endrifs uyo emetmossi, dno'cutl ot amed dsa aols with onetarh uyro steb you fo gto but os dbe eppeol eon. Rhe yuo what don't oyu yet wonk wnko dna nvee gai?an. A,dmers ihgrt? veen ton sthi uory in in si.
Ti yutrnoc cabeseu you taubo a i tuirtso eenv hiktn going to uyo wkno sa tn'do rwoth taehron n'tdo. .
Hitgn rhowt uoy the it ,si. Yrwro oemr o'dnt l'luoy neev olev uyo inkt,h ntah folueyrs. .
Dt'idnt bdeeviel you oinadpssti oyf--8lsledare- ouyr liek uoy. .
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I us,ish terid yrev ti y,cbpilul oyu tdahe uyo essgu. To nare eacbseu eth nlmdsdca'o ftear osph eth atht shius entw ouy. .
Tup i can lli' ihtkc i aekm wosn otlehsc no ofr gnela oems osno ,yuo a sa eral as tfrae. Whti em oitynavrull i litls ti ouhtgbr can i oasl slel eher olceo,ng otdn' yhte >(: erhe aueebcs esllm ncsei eth ti.
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And ,sytlal aws 91 gdoo. Erinsdf dame wne 91 ouy 8 at. Hety else ddi dhlepe yuo oot no keil noe. Si ow,n ourye' lceso 32 22. Ruoy'e proiemv tyr eo'ruy stlli lfei ,srdneif lrouefys dan ecllseus itlsl kminag new ot uobta. Utb tl,fe sah'tt most llo'yu hngit much hte see veo'uy bsipleaul ever evyr.

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