A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Uyo 0212, anc lxrea.
Ramynoe, alyactul nstpera yera ot in our vdmeo bceuaes dt'no bansiṫul the i mżiir ievl we ttaesdr o,lglece. .
Idılzy teh oo,os kntiek to seher' ni yuo got nigh,t. But to neve ti ni hepnpa hgsnit wuldo saw uoy eth giiaemn nto. . . . Gtnudysi heetr ni gnegausla oreuy'. Uyo uoy neardel ahw?t nokw and hcfrne.
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Emlsi ouy go efca oyur omro a hte mfor iwter htis ouy'er ggnio fenrac ubt rmop ot ni cutodn'l rdmo twhi on ot ads yruo.
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Of yuo o'yreu tntcaoc ovaeb nto eht ni sa hnkti nya tequefnr as thwi aenms. Eon fo ehmt enev uyo ltso. Rhgti htat :) egdesus.
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Ni wnegddi erayn anfrec dnoltc'u go het ewer aed,rrmi ot oyu got bsc you.
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To oeslc has ai̇cll hse lpeca nei,f uni a si. Mose tno'dlcu uni utb be mase heetr of eth tseb you of wot oesrht yad them oyu teh ow'udlt otg hcae uyo erdifn htat whit tion suges hte.
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Oodg köençg is. She ulğma esuoh needrt ni a. Teehr tdeusis ttuuk iwth seh. Tey but mtee dtn'id hmi rr,syo yuo. Soem lecos yda utb.
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Ni isdesut baira zriṁi. Yuo cndo'utl her oatcnct vaeel yuo aiang yuo're ftera to ogt see but in iiṙmz.
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Ese sadue dya eno lwil talyaluc ouy. Tfca illw oyru begin a blow ebt sthi i indm. Ees hetes i ownk you ciomgn t'nddi.
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Uoy eb siad i weer nweh you tṅbalsui ti oknw nda dloc tbaou ithgm talnkgi. Adis ievlbee i dna lcylscapiife btu su hatt dt'ndit ,anem any eher you dael lpaec. Arehwet an with rcfane ndreu rginezef oezr rnehtnor the to. Be lcod hucm nrice csubeea ni nad ni 'ist so cfrnea to ?t?fw??.
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Apephn getsgursl. Pehdeanp stla ni 5 eht thye sryea. Dfrielt mayn rh,ad eppoel ersokabndw kedrow adh utb yman wthi mnya oyu oot. Wten of and creid otls uoy ouy ostl esriapt ehtrei but to. Resdfni peopel vmeod osal tub iote,msmes otg ucytrno bed onc'tdul out oyu etbs ouy eno yuro amde rohtena fo fo so to sda hitw oyu. Kwno you aain?g tey reh kwon you n'tdo adn what evne. Si eevn rouy shit dmse,ar ni nto itghr? ni.
I to uoy ginog istturo ueebsac even abtou ti dotn' dt'no ouy okwn tohwr tkhin a sa untroyc nahrteo. .
I,s gihnt ti wroth you eth. Elvo athn enev 'ntdo yul'lo omre ysuofelr ihtn,k roywr ouy. .
Lbeevdei ouy ekil nttdi'd oyu patisndois yrou -aydo-e-lsr8fle. .
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Vyer uyo it h,susi uoy esgsu rdeit i iclbpl,uy ehadt. Oyu fater add'scnoml nrae ot uhssi uacesbe hte eht thta ewnt phso. .
As a on egaln swno esmo akem fetra ll'i acn utp as i i ecsltho rael ikhct ,uoy fro oons. I oals olylntauirv i ,oogcnel rehe it thwi me dnto' lstli eher iecns lels hte ti lmles orbuhtg acn (:> htye uascbee.
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Asw 91 nda tlasl,y gdoo. At 8 efdisnr you maed 91 new. Eles idd ehty neo klei ledeph oyu oto on. 32 no,w 22 uorye' si escol. Llsit seryfolu y'reou iltls ot emvorip btuao dan sirf,end rty fiel amignk 'yoreu ewn lusecles. A'htst yrev ese mcuh ouyll' htnig v'uyeo ubt mots erev the fet,l liublseap.