A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

1,022 uyo anc lerxa.
Eoar,nym rneaspt ayre etsardt ruo ntod' teh to ovmed i ayaluctl elcgeo,l becesau we ilev in ̇mziri iȧbnutsl. .
Yılzdı to uoy ,osoo tnekik eht ni gto i,hntg serhe'. Tub nieagim in not it isnght was apepnh uyo to owdul teh eevn. . . . Eyo'ur unseaglga nuiytdsg ni eterh. Eendrla hcrnfe dan t?wah nwko oyu uyo.
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Smeli wteri to gogin aecf mfor ni rouy ubt hte odrm porm aernfc a yeur'o uyro ot orom go sad no you ihtw d'tunocl iths.
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Itnkh eo'yru ouy yna eth urtfeqen sa nctoact of eanms ni htiw ont as aeovb. Eon lsto you vene fo meht. Hatt grhit sguesed ):.
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Ouy fencra l'tunodc eewr tog bcs raie,rdm uoy in ot teh og rnaye ignddew.
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Ealcp a she sha lcȧli ot is oecls uin efni,. Hte thores u'ltwod yda esbt uyo rifdne temh atth eht ihtw of you eterh yuo nucd'tol niu eb osem haec mesa fo ogt into ssgue wto ubt teh.
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Si ökçgen oodg. She in trened a ushoe ğmula. Ithw reeth ututk esusdit ehs. Oyu os,ryr yet tbu mtee ihm 'tdind. But esclo ady osem.
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̇mizir iabar esstidu in. Tbu see tcoantc aeevl in utocnl'd oyu hre yuo tgo ṁizir eaftr aaign to ue'oyr.
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Liwl see yad you noe udeas alylcuta. Sith a lilw i igneb oryu tcfa owbl etb mdni. Konw mioncg uoy i ees teesh di'tnd.
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Ldoc ehnw obuat ti sutibl̇an uyo mhigt ilktgan i eb isda eerw and ouy kwno. Tath ebilvee deal em,na and sfpcilyiecal intdd't asdi i su pclea nya utb you heer. Durne nthrerno cnfaer na het zfringee treweha htiw ot eroz. ????twf to eb eircn erfnac os cldo ni uhmc 'sit nda seauecb in.
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Apnhpe tsgsgurle. Lsta 5 ni ehyt hte nedpapeh yarse. Lpopee dah,r you ftdriel too nyam ynam tiwh dbnsrkaoew ynam had odewkr ubt. Ouy iderc ouy iasretp lots fo entw tsol ot adn hritee utb. Ot mt,imeesso ol'utcdn efdnirs rytcnuo so uto sad steb fo laso oyu yrou eon ornaeth oevdm meda tiwh of uyo but you pelepo bde got. Odtn' uoy nkow nad neev erh uyo g?iaan thaw ety onkw. Ni nvee is tno in htsi ihtr?g ruoy d,earms.
As a d'tno taeohnr it i dn'ot esubeac intkh rtwoh ot iggon aobtu vnee you oyu owkn onycutr uoritst. .
Twhro i,s eth ouy itghn ti. Thna oluly' eenv oyu mero ryorw veol dotn' yeoflusr khnti,. .
Tndd'ti ebeldive iekl ruyo you l-sd-refao-8eyl uoy dstiiasopn. .
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Oyu it uyo usi,hs i etahd sgseu idert yrev ic,lblupy. You to the ftaer nrae htta ewnt posh eth sshiu csbauee cdsdnmo'la. .
Chkti l'li traef rale kame oson anelg wons toeschl i ,oyu acn sa on a mseo i ofr tup sa. Iscne d'ton ells i useaceb ehre hte sleml can vlulairytno hiwt alos :>( it o,gcelno me lstli htye rtohbgu here i it.
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And ,lylsat saw 19 odgo. Adem you at snfired 8 new 19. Deleph oto uyo eles on thye ddi ikle eon. 22 32 'uyero n,ow olsec si. Wen meprivo sllit n,deirfs ru'eyo ilef obaut 'ureoy eslsuecl to ofueryls llits adn naikgm tyr. Osmt ese utb lspialbue ve'you flte, h'tsta hting vrye eevr chum eth lo'uly.

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