A letter from March 24th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, i hope you're in your dream college today and everything is not in quarantine. Also hope you're able to read randomly thousands of books, watching endlessly tv-series and hear your parents how much they can't wait you to come back home to İzmir for holidays. I just checked the part i wrote now and i realize how formal it is smh.(göz deviren emoji burası) Whatever, everything is not so perfect right now, i am hoping to study more hard the rest of my last 3 months to THE exam in quarantine, make better results on denemeler and going to win an excellent university ve allah rızası için şaşırtmak my teachers be. Valla geri kalan zamanım için 12. sınıfım çöp olmuşa benziyor, mezuniyetimi bile görmeden ve balo elbisemi giymek için zayıflamadan koronadan ölebilirim ya da en kötüsü zayıflayınca bunların hiçbirini yapamayabiliriz. ALLAM LÜTFEN 2020'de EXCELLENT ÜNİVERSİTE YARABBİ. Nys. -öhöm- For now that's all i can say and i really really hope you're feeling soo beautiful and actually are, comfortable with yourself cause you showed your real potential abilities actually to yourself and so happy (cause i need to be right now), that you forget your 19th birthday because YOU ARE SO **** HAPPY TO REMEMBER. I hope i laugh at the situation i am in right now in your day, show this e-letter to my new friends or recent ones to make them laugh and be even more happy. Also, maybe you're in contact with Beyza, Rabia, İclal, Yaren and Gökçen. Maybe you're not. Maybe you met Asude again. Maybe you lost one of them. It doesn't matter, try contact and thank the rest please. Even if they don't know it well, they made your life better in so many ways you know. If you don't, know it. Because your life wasn't so easy (maybe because of your thoughts or the situations you're in) and won't be easy at 18 if you're alone. Make 19 better for yourself. Eat sushi, secretly hate it. Drink as much as you can. PLS CHANGE UR STYLE. Learn a new language. Improve yourself. Try everything you want. Don't dissapoint your 8-year-old-self like i did. Please love yourself. Don't push to crush even if things go wrong. Kendine de iyi bak, soğuktur oralar. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON LİKE YOU SAY. Burası pek soğuk olmaz, alışmışsındır. But make a snow angel for me and the 6 years you couldn't. Smell this message, i am sooo sure it'll be smell like cologne from my quarantine days. HAPPY BİRTHDAY. SANA LOTS OF DEZENFEKTAN YOLLUYORUM, METRO TUTAMAÇLARINI TUTTUKTAN SONRA KULLANIRSIN. Değerimi bil. byü.

Epilogue

almost 4 years later

Dear past me,

Somehow, in 2021, I didn't reply to this letter. I think it was waiting for me to answer it today.
The horrendous days of quarantine ended in...

Lxare 20,21 oyu acn.
I sneptra aayluclt we ,oaemnyr vemod ivle bnsal̇uti goec,ell to in 'ntod beseacu ̇iizmr hte estrdat year our. .
Teh you ni hgn,ti zıldıy ot rseeh' tgo s,ooo knetik. Duwol saw ahpepn agmieni tub vnee it ton uyo teh in to htsign. . . . 'oyreu ni lugaseagn rheet idgunsyt. Nad ?ahtw uoy cfhren aderlne onkw uoy.
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Ubt nigog mofr shti dsa to og ecfran in no oyur uoy moro hte meisl oyru rmod y'euor to prom iwht dnt'oucl iretw a acfe.
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Sa 'ryeuo hiknt ni tconcta ihwt smena sa yan otn uyo of oevba fneteruq teh. Noe ltso temh fo oyu eevn. Suesged :) atth igrht.
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In go weer carefn you tog nwgeddi you eht 'ondtlcu to csb ayrne irmeda,r.
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Ash sceol li̇alc nui a ef,in to alpce hes is. Yad nui ahec twhi ouy oint ehtsor egssu osme ethm got be fo dwu'tlo ldn'tuco ubt rndfei the yuo fo oyu smae eth atht steb wot eht terhe.
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Is çkgöen doog. She a ni eerntd oseuh ulmağ. Wiht seh sdtisue ttuuk trehe. Mhi emet yte yorrs, i'ndtd uoy ubt. Esclo yda tbu msoe.
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Zṁiri baria utiseds in. Yeruo' artfe you nctcaot udtn'olc evael ese iṁzri but agnai erh in tog you ot.
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You ctaulyla ese wlil yad adeus neo. I dmni htis einbg oruy ctfa lwob a teb llwi. Ees knwo i yuo etehs ntdid' omginc.
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Uyo i̇bulnsat ti tailkgn ouabt i and iads be nweh wonk himtg uoy erwe dclo. Us filcpylseaci 'ttidnd htat i yuo eplca ieveble nad rehe ,eman tub aisd nay dela. Ezor nderu enacrf na ot honnrert eewhart wtih iegfzren hte. In ist' mcuh so ?w?t?f? baecesu eincr and ni to be nrefca lcdo.
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Sertgslgu eahpnp. Aeysr 5 teyh apdpnhee stal ni teh. Adh edlitrf soanbdwrke but amyn ynma thiw oplepe ,radh kdweor aynm uyo oot. Yuo you icdre tbu slot rpeatsi tlso fo ewnt and to eehrit. Oyu you fo etbs aosl os thiw lcntdu'o to got troycnu utb meistes,mo das lepeop fo ovmde deb tuo yrou enrsfdi dema yuo eon anothre. ?angai knwo nowk nd'ot hre dan uoy evne uoy thaw tye. Ryuo is nto hsit rg?tih as,rmde neve in in.
Ucnytro tabuo onkw utitsro htaorne 'ndto ingog eubcsea ouy uyo to kthni i enev as 'notd it a htowr. .
Eth yuo si, otrwh it gntih. Thna roem oryrw y'lluo solyrfue ihtkn, yuo ovle dnto' eenv. .
'dtintd like oyu yuo elreoya-8ds--lf ievlebde uyro tndsiopsia. .
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Ryve iupclbly, irdet uoy i ius,sh yuo gssue tedah it. The the isshu tath useecab ot enwt eanr uyo rtafe n'mcosladd psho. .
Ctihk on mose i kmae as u,yo tpu lhetsoc sa rela nca anlge a oosn i ofr rtfae nows lil'. Eehr slle i >:( it ehyt rehe ntod' ncesi anc cen,lgoo it vrunoalltiy i em basuece slao the mlsle wthi brhougt ltils.
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Al,sytl and good wsa 19. Ouy 91 8 edam fnsderi at enw. Esel on oyu oto did neo ehty leki deelph. 22 u'oery 23 n,ow ecsol is. Feli ot mpvioer lslti and ytr itlls lesoyfur aknimg taobu yeoru' new ,fsdrien 'uyero ulslecse. Rvye uabspille s'that chum erve see tosm uyove' but tef,l eth ul'ylo tghin.

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