A letter from January 23rd, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Sup dumbass this is from 14 year old me and it's currently Thursday 23 of January 2020. This website and concept is cool don't you think? I do think. Does that mean you still think that? Dunno. I probably changed alot. Hmmmmm. Did you end up cutting your hair and let your inner lesbian come out or are you still too much of a *****. I vote for *****. I'm scared of writing this. I dont want to read this in 5 years and be sad, what if something bad happened that hasn't happened yet.... what if onose left us? Or sangini?? You know I hate change.... I know its dumb because I'm writing to myself but I'm still gonna ask questions about my future as if you can answer them and I dont know why.... I dont need answers. I need to know I asked the question that get me the answers. I don't care about where I went to college of if I did well on my a levels or GCSEs at the moment I can only seem to think about one thing... Is Louisa ok? In 6 years you may not remeber her... I think I will. I'll almost bet you. That would be dumb though. Anyways, she is your best friend well she is yours not sure if its vice versa. You love her so so so so so much. She isnt very well at the moment... she has cancer. Today she knew i wasn't ok. I never am tbh but somedays it's worse. Today was one of them. But she asked what was wrong and I kept saying I was fine but the truth is I had 8 panic attacks in biology and then 1 in chemistry and it was all about her. I'm scared. I'm scared of what's happening. I'm scared of change. I'm worried I'll lose her and I obviously dont want that to happen. She is such an amazing person to everyone and she is beautiful and has a bde and is such a crack head. But we love her. He doesnt like her nigel. I keep telling her to get a new one but apparently the nigel system doesn't work like that. Oh yeah! Nigels her dad. Fyi. I'm in progress of having a mental breakdown. *'*'*'* news flash *'*'*'* Nothing new it's only school work and stuff. I haven't stopped crying since lunch which starts at like... idk but let's go with 45 minutes before 1 25.and it's now 11 Shut up I hate maths I cant do it Wait... Is georgie ok? What about toffee? We dont have toffee anymore and I miss her SO MUCH. ITS ALL KARENS FAULT! IF SHE HADNT OF GOT HER WE WOULDNT OF HAD TO GET RID OF HER! AND APPARENTLY I DIDNT LOVE HER BUT I DID OTHER WISE I WOULDNT STILL CRY ABOUT HER GETTING RID OF HER. Stupid Karen. I hate so much stuff but dont get me wrong I dont hate Karen although she sucks but so does dad. They each have their moments. Mum is sucky though I'm gonna go cry some more ok so bye Jaime :³