A letter from January 10th, 2020

the first transmission 01-10-20 ben, I swear to god if youre not happy im gonna **** you Assuming this message reaches you, years in the future, there are some things i need to talk to you about. Now, im sure youve learned a lot of things by now about how the ‘real’ world works. This anxiety **** ive got right now seems like meaningless garbage, but still, im allowed to have a bad day. And so are you, by the way. Anyways, i really hope your ideals havent changed much, because you cant let me down dude. You might be brushing it off with “‘life’ happened.” Unless you had a kid, youre still in control of your own life brother. Remember the open world game. Remember the moment, as I am now discovering it. Remember change, to suit your needs, your life is a fully customizable gift. Remember the open world game. **** “life” Live yours. Live morally, according to your own. Live interestingly, according to what amuses you. Remember the idea of basic human potential. The blank slate. Anything that you are willing to devote as much necessary time to, can happen for you. Yes, take into consideration personal relations, at this point im convinced that you’re still with trinidi, and remember that she will be supportive as well. As she once spoke, and so wisely indeed: “All we need is top ramen.” If you two have not lasted, find her and restore her friendship. That too, was too lucky an anomaly to have merely perished at the hands of time. Find Sean and Burke, if they are not already by your side. Find William, wherever he has wandered to. Find Gage, find Joe, and remember the fantastical anomaly that was your group. You are unbreakable. In a similar sense to how basic training brings people together for life, high school has done the same. In addition to other experiences, through music, over lakes, puddles, and oceans, and to the other side of the coin. Find the ocean. Come home. Notice the reflection of you in her. She is other puzzle piece, and therefore she reflects trinidi. Spend time with her just to be, to observe, to listen and to notice. And with that, find members of your twin eagles family. Reach out to Collin. Reach out to Seelah and Illan, to Anthony, to Tim and Jeanine. Find your family, and discover you belong. Not in the sense that you are similar, but in the sense that you are not. Become an outlier to them, and swing them slightly if they so wish to be swung. Do not look back at me and simply label me a teenager or discard these words. I may not know everything, but even I appreciate that only toddlers know how to truly dance. I can prove to be your ally, though long since passed, but forever stored away somewhere in your mind, no matter how prominent, hidden or deep. I, like the toddler, am a true avatar. I walk among this world with a profound and untainted worldview, and there is no reason you too can not attain that. Find art once again, if the such great tragedy has befallen you to have lost it. Find it in all forms. Paint your walls, do not hold back. Keep your imagination. One of my greatest fears that has, only recently donned on me in the past few seconds, is the loss of such a spectacular gift. Imagination brings about creation, so exercise that. Love everybody. Jesus was cool, be like him in some ways. Keep in mind that if you have not discovered something that you would die for, you are not fit to live. Dont be an idiot. Remember the purpose of life. Remember your definiton of success, that it is not measured in the space of our homes, the food in our bellies, the years on this earth nor the air in our lungs. It is measured in the level of contentment at time of *****. And they are directly proportional. Do not stop playing the open world game. Do not abandon this avatar, for although not everyone can live this way, not everyone will even try, leaving all rights to you. So embrace that. Until you receive this message or any other future messages, it has come time for me to sign off as I have only 5 minutes left in the period and 20 something multiple choice questions to go. Love you bud. XOXO ben (From the past.)