A letter from October 13th, 2019

Dear Future Me, Hi. How are you doing? I had a real **** day today. I was happy in the morning but that went south fast. What about you? Are you happy? Are you married? I'm still against marriage and trying to avoid it as much as possible. How is the guy? Is he good? Is he treating you right? Does he love you and respects you? What about your in laws? Are they nice? I hope they are. Or at least you live separately. Do you have kids? I don't want kids just because I'm scared. I hope it wasn't that scary for you if you had them. I saved the most important question for later. Do you still wanna die? I had a thought today. I'm not afraid of the thoughts anymore. Or are you in therapy? I hope you are. Because no one gives a **** about my mental health here. So I hope you're taking care of yourself, or at least you have someone to talk to. I don't know what else to ask or say. I can only hope you're alive and doing okay. That you're enjoying life to the fullest. And you're still loved by your parents. Right now, I can only hope. Hope is all I have now.