A letter from October 8th, 2019

33. Before I forget. I want to remember... That recently I am being reminded of my completeness. That I am complete and not lacking, no matter where in life I go. 33 years is too long a time to still be insecure of people and circumstances and always be comparing myself with other people whose pains I know nothing of. That most of the time I still fail to give all of my heart. I tend to hold back, only wanting to bask in the joys, but not wanting to invest in the pains of relationships with people. I think of what is logical and what is "right" before I fully give my empathy. And most of the time it is pity and not empathy. But I fail to step back and see that I myself am in a pitiful state for not being able to reach out and share compassion and love to the family that is dying to embrace me unconditionally. I will continue to hope that when this letter gets to you in the future, that you have outgrown your selfishness and insecurities. Be unafraid to trust and give love without holding back. For that is the only way to live. I love you, Jev. You don't always have to be hard on yourself. Jev, 33, Singapore 8:12 am