hopefully we're still bestfriends.

Dear FutureLily. Hopefully we are still bestfriends when you get this, when this was sent, we were in the middle of year 11, you were going out with a boy a hate with all my being and who is completely ruining who you are, hopefully you realise this and he is out of the picture by now, if he isn't, well there isn't much I can do about that. But right now it's killing me to see you like this. Right now you think you might have an STI from him, hopefully you didn't, but don't you realise that for him to give you something like that is discusting? he shouldn't of had sex with you knowing something was wrong without a condom, it makes me sick the things you tell me he says to you lily, you don't realise that it is verbal abuse, it hurts you, but it hurts me more because you deal with it. When you get this we would of finished school. Hopefully we're doing what we want or on a road to it. that's all I've got to say about that. I hope you were happy when this was sent (2/6/2010) and I hope you are happy now, I wish you spoke to me more about how you are and what you're doing, rather than the outcomes. more than that, I wish you asked about me. I wish you asked me what I'd done on the weekend. How I was feeling. If you had you'd know so much more about me. I tell you a lot of things that you need to tell a bestfriend, but I also don't tell you a lot of things you should probably know, like how I had a miscarriage these following weeks and the fact that having sex with tomas wasn't a mistake, as it happened more than once. I'm sorry this wasn't a happy email from the past, but it was things that should of been said at the time, but hopefully now you're a wiser person who will really take this in, even if we hate eachother at this time or havn't spoken in a year, this is still important and hopefully you remember us. I also hope this email makes you realise how much I really fucking care for you and always have. and FUCK if you get this right now and in 2012, but hey, shit happens right? p.s. happy 19th x ashley.