Happy 25th Birthday

Dear FutureMe, Holy **** you turn 25 today! Right now I'm 17 sitting on the couch, these past 6 months have been rough. I feel as if my anxiety and depression will never end, it's like I'm stumbling in the dark never knowing if I'll feel better or fall further through the hole. But I guess that's just life. In my life, I don't have that many friends right now, because I push everyone away because I feel as if no one understands the pain I'm in. The high school experience has been a certain kind of hell that no one in their right mind should go through. I live in Sea Village right now which is ocean front and has an amazing pool I go to all the time, Ali'i drive is crazy nosy though. We move hopefully in a month to a new house where I'll finally have my own room for the first time in 17 years. I start my 4th high school too in the fall. I can't see a light right now but I'm just going to continue to stumble and try my best to find happiness and break through all this teenage angst ********. But enough about me, what are you doing at 25? For a job hopefully, you are having tons of photo shoots and making a ton of money. Maybe your a teacher, or a creative writer at a magazine. I'm guessing you have a small, but a sporty car to drive your *** around. Or if you Uber everywhere that's cool too. Is Instagram still a thing? I have an unhealthy obsession with it, I love posting and finding creative ideas. Do you live alone or do you have a roommate? (Please for the love of god your not living with mom and dad) Omg, are you living with a boyfriend? I wonder what he looks like, certainly no red hair. I bet he's smart, maybe a technical engineer, a doctor, politician or electrition. He's definitely a nerd, I don't trust beautiful boys. Wouldn't that be weird if he was reading this right now? Hello, future boyfriend! Please don't break my heart, or be a serial ******. But if I'm single too that's also fine because you're not lonely your just alone and you're a kickass woman who doesn't need a man (or woman.) I'm 98% sure that you aren't married yet, or even engaged? I want to wait until I'm at least 30. I'm 99% sure that you don't have any kids yet, like not even at all. 25 year old me I have so many hope's and dreams for you. I hope that you cured your anxiety and you travel all the time, you eat at fancy restaurants, you see movies at the movie theater at 2 am just because you can. I hope that you're laughing all the time and that you are so happy, dancing in your house with the music turned up (Truth Hurts by Lizzo) and taking sunset drives along the ocean. I don't know if that's Hawaii, California or Oregon. I hope that you have a closet that's bursting at the seams with clothes. Have a drink with Catherine, Izzi, Meiling, Haydee, Abigail, Angelie, Victoria and tell them all the horrible things you thought of them but also tell them the good. Run in the sprinklers, don't take life to seriously. I'm watching a show called the Bold Type where they are all 25 and they don't have their **** together at all but they are having fun anyway. I'll always love you no matter what you decide or what path you take. 25 seems very longgg away, like an adult. Ok, good luck with your life.