A letter from April 7th, 2019

Peaceful right?

Dear 26 year older Cecyl, Happy birthday, This is me, your 21-year-old self. Today is April, 27th 2019 and I'm writing this out of concern about what you're doing right now. Right now I'm working on my Tugas Akhir after sidang 2, and just to let you know, I am in the verge of giving up. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. My interest in architecture slowly fading. and because for several reasons, like pride, this moment makes me lessen my confidence. I don't know how to face the future. it's totally blank. I will graduate in like, 3 months, and i still don't know what the **** should i do after it happens. to be honest, i love about leaving school because it's been some drama **** and im sick of college. but the thought of starting something new terrifies me, especially not knowing which path to choose. id really like to think "go with the flow", but you know me, i ******* love plans. Aside from all of it, im actually pretty happy right now. This is your BTS era btw hahaha, do you still love them? Have you been gone to their concert?! Please tell me you did. Im listening to Dimple right now hahaha. Im actually wondering what's your reaction reading this, will you be sad for not fulfilling your dreams, or will you be happy because you're actually much happier than me right now? And **** while writing it, that line makes me realize something, The future is actually in my hands, for all I know right now, I will not ever give up on you. Thank you Fadh for always reminding me to not give up hahaha. I will make sure you're having the best in life that what I'm having right now. I will forever be greedy. Greedy for your happiness. Maybe life's about chasing your happiness right? You dont have to be clever, being able to do everything right, you dont gotta be perfect. ******, yes, this is life is all about. I hope youre laughing of happiness reading this. Don't worry cyl, I'll make sure you won't regret everything you do for the past 5 years :) I LOVE YOU, PLEASE KEEP LOVING YOURSELF LIKE IM STARTING ON DOING NOW. I hope I can make you proud, please still believe in yourself :)

Epilogue

about 4 hours later

27 to 21

Dear lil me,
This is me, your 27 year old self.
Back at ya babe, Happy October 14!

And BTS🤣 I’m still...

An tge oducl uyo bgien so ew vant’,eh ta 🤞dreso🏼sc gsenifr on thgruoh iwhle iederlve dan ma🤣🤣r🤣y.
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Atwh ,tgihn ynufn nodt’ ,sis htwi tesb si do tghni ot uyo eht oryu nkwo l🤣ife lslti btu. . Cllatuay oyu owh atwn, oeyrlsfu konw woh know y’reou si yuo nokw ufedigr chum aulve you out ouy uaaltc dan ot rh—sotwo twah much vole ulfys,roe ghrtu,✨iano oyu —ohncassipihw yuo oury os. And emrsatt lal taht tth’sa.
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Dwon htseo yingtr u lal ot utp loppee ucfk. Iamignlc i’st ot mhvlssetee er“hti oto ekma abrplboy in oolk aycautll to ckuf hohgut eohwr’ opple(e esdhama of hte iesl lol) ngrwo ekma jtus nhtseomgi meth uhtr”t to lal srpdae up htey eth tyigrn ioptn berggi.
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Tw:ha wthi eht uory trthu si lsie u esahloss✨ ”“ym ltel oevsl😘 tsuj trtuh veil ,well.
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Asy ’eyoru i anc buescae ni me i btu osrry ttha ieaelhv—ybee ewhn ganeaetru ot ehpaipr ouy won lpis. Hntad—si fo bseta lkie a eba💖b shpu ebne tlo rtoughh ghutrho eyv’ou u a.
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Ur esy, gdieanr ym imles on bgi adn tpus fcae etltre a. A atrst twha. 27. Oww. Tou to ivbeeel vei’ fesmyl etmi ac’nt gufrie enbe eht iveng. Shtngi so flgeatru all ginve ya you hu😭💕cm allha m’i teh em uyo’ve so hnatk so ofr.
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Nad. . Oyu nad s,si rdmae snigee si ppyh,a ,orywr od’tn oyu my.
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Ab✨eb ayslwa tog u li’l.

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