A letter from January 25th, 2019

Dear FutureMe, Hi! Remember being a senior in high school and writing this letter? You almost always took a nap at this time of the day, but today is the day the admissions decision for your state's flagship university comes out (very very soon but I don't know exactly when). I'm too stressed to fall asleep, and that's why I'm writing this now. I'm a trash writer, and since you are so much older and hopefully wiser to me, this letter will probably seem cringey as heck. Sorry. See, the reason I'm so anxious is that this was supposed to be my safety school. It's the college everyone expected you to go to, but the idea of going there was so repulsive when you applied that you reused supplemental essays, and honestly, it's a stretch to say that they even answer the prompts. I've already been rejected from my early decision school, and my confidence really took a hit. If I don't get into this college, there's a pretty real chance I won't be going to college this year. Honestly, I should've applied to more safety schools. Even the valedictorian (who got into Harvard) told you that she applied to a whole bunch of safeties in the library while you were waiting for our mom. That's what ruined your nap yesterday. Also, our mom is super worried too and probably downstairs checking collegeconfidential right now. I'm gonna send this letter as soon as someone posts their result on that **** website. Why did I not want to go to this school? Well, you've pretty much hated this state ever since you moved here, and you've told yourself before every exam that if you just study a little bit harder, maybe you'll be able to leave. But now, I kind of have a different reason to leave too. How to say this? Well, it's the first time I've written this down: I think I might be bi. To think of it, there were certain girls I used to think were really pretty and get nervous around. Not to mention you read too much kpop girlxgirl fanfiction. Remember who your favorite ship was? Lol you liked kpop so much (too much) Anyways, I've also just started training at my first job, and the other new girl is kind of cute? She's so confident and professional uwu... Ugh...I just really am not sure of who I like anymore...it's the worst... Wow, writing this down made it feel so much more real. So, that's why the best outcome for college is to go somewhere super far away (Cali is looking pretty good) so I can figure this mess out and decide how (if?) I tell our parents. It's already after 4 so I'm going to try to wrap this awful letter up. I hope you are doing well in med school and don't have to think about this time anymore. Hopefully, you won't even remember this feeling. Maybe you'll even have gotten a girlfriend and be able to live freely. If you are still super stressed and confused, that's okay too. But I really, really, hope not. With love, A stressed 17 year old you from the past