A letter from October 18th, 2018

ur abt to turn 26. the boys just renewed their contract for another 7 yrs n ppl r going Thru it on the tl. blaqfly suggested we write a letter to future us n bangtan so im writing to u now. u just sat for the 1st sem business paper. u studied rly hard last night - even used a revision method tht uve nvr tried bfr. it worked splendidly n u were able to answer easily but u didnt manage ur time well resulting in some missed questions. u had a heavy dread when u left the hall, thinking of the different things u cldve done better. but ill say, for a person who nvr listened to the lectures n nvr did the works given, u did rly well. i wonder if u still even rmmbr ur 1st sem result. it probably dont matter anymore so ill put it past me now. the strong dread u had was slowly cured the more u read the tl. everyone is just So Happy tht the boys r renewing their contract, it feels like the celebration of bangtans anniversary again. this yrs festa was the 1st one u experienced n u got so emotional. its the same emotional feeling now. i love seeing so many ppl bonding thru our mutual love for bts, we just love the boys n trying to live n survive n b better versions of ourselves. seeing how much everyone has grown even just the past few months has been touching to witness, its rly nice tht we slowly grow together along w bts. i hope ur still growing w them rn. i wonder wht ur fav bts song is currently. is outro tear still as transcendental? i wonder if we're still struggling w cracking the mainstream or if we've Made It made it. i wonder if we've won a grammy or if smth more iconic thn the un speech + time cover has happened. i wonder how much bts merch uve accumulated now. i hope the ride is still as fun n thrilling as is it rn. i hope u keep urself alive to read this letter. i hope the heavy existential dread u alws carry has lessened a little, even just a little. u suffer so much but u still keep going n i think thts cool. u want to cease to exist but u dont do anything abt it bcs u dont want to hurt ur mom n i think thts cool. keep holdin on a lil longer. it wont ever b worth it n nothings ever gonna change, i know. but just hold on. to bangtannies who hv helped me so much more thn i ever thought smn cld, thank u. the love u hv for ur craft n the love u hv for each other n the love u hv for the world fuels me. i hope uve found wht ur looking for in life. i hope uve reached contentment. the journey of loving oneself is a long, complex, neverending one but i hope we've both made progress. to 7 yrs more of being each others supporters!