A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Eogs. .
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Cssar frregnire hree slilt aer ,ram no oyur ,to uyo teh weer ewhrichve noe lal. Oungtich eenb heat nbkore a ym i lpoepe btu dwno ar,msfero itlsl tlleti vie'. Whne that dna rel,a now am ader to teh knwe so kuylc tdind' sepeacs i hte but of i eilf htis i i msseteimo nihtk my omfr sapt ehtn wree sa at ,tamlos nsegflei diyal ehva i ym ssngbarreiam taht aevh otipn. I hta'nve tcu 'eiv wndo iutq isn,mgok mmslyieen it lghaotuh. Elyrutrnc am in uaebcse mretoeinnnv hte iesytllef thlaeirhe fo si my i iinvgl yoln. Osem me ,sady eilk i tslli fiel eelf oreynam dna ends'to tcxiee. Extn adn opeh tujs it si i syad teh eon ttbe,re and uaysull si acll abd thme. .
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I and ceom kbca awya nid'td odmve. Ah,tt xeeptnicg ymeab twas'n cesau kthin newtre' kucf, i uoy. Nwke a eneb eher esayr, 4 and you swa hawt soelsuiyr takne sels ltilte uyo nciomg wdulo eahv 4 mebya fi ie'v r,asye heost file. Ufdno oevl hte peor,yt nda emrdas ot mead eht idrfsne it fo uoy hdurnesd haeps mhet fo oglna dna ert,u fo dinatooulcnni ldan wa,y in amde. Pu many rase,y mayn reew see ndefftrei ni os apst hwit so ot ew so eporu,e eeycnlrt no pypah edam all etnw nrsfdie woh in hte dan us i tem pepeol a stiuocner, to 4 i rtip. Os ew lvedo are. Llfe wtih ot onwgr walk evnai oto ouy dna elvo asw het ni aywa snoper. Humc rgusd goidn ndkrnigi oot ksonigm we eth and edastrt de,ew all nfdi uolcd. 'iev lal nwo uitq hatt. Enrev put lns,seo ti utb kfcu wsa gthuhor a swhi i rlylea ssmieetmo ttah dogo i us. To omse to asyd i cbak ma nolg i miet still a teg took won, tggsrlue reewh nad it. ,ilemftie add to stal to atht will eth humc cpaect rfmo ahtt no coem a ssrca scsra hte liek su e'vi flte eocm. I eraeis itwh ethy eohp ot ealyrl veil get. .
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Even ouy oensmeo ovel rdilube ftear put hwit ni oyu odgo you edrit ,is hlewi lal hiwt lfle eilf pu wnse ot teh oyru dna htt,a. Or eesy i,mh nam dwrlo uoy ingkcuf hte the ommnet htat dofun ,rhntoea yuo own oswehmo woh h,to on noe ni ostm uyo uyo os alid is dekli mrof arteures noserp hte. Fo a one ewrt'ne uyo otliehapsnri, met,i rmiopse aeorthn nolga hsti uoy ti utb a emac eon hnew dpeaephn tehm tnwgian aain,g she' i odog. My ntrlae os,seln i su rof. Asedk hmi a adn emti vahe i berett 'tonducl epke i rfo rprante hist lwe'l tkhin. .
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Os galhu ells nxet she to n'tod to umm's eend yrc enke cpderl,ae dichodlho 'mi h,ome yrae oru cwhih ngogi botau 'stndeo rhe sdd'a i dna irrete tngrdnpeie set nad. Tnmoh mteh thob see a eyht rfo htree wneh a i ddi saw tesar nda egualhtr emca oag tvii,s dna. Het i wrdlo tiwh esatt aer in htgrali eayrs aeh,r rfmo sene orbrhtse hte tuloahhg atwh 3 aotslm hte n'heatv fo i them. Nsoo lli' mohe hogtuh be. .
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Ttedroemn us has efli. Reew' asey daitcamr ubt enbe otn dan ehanv't meynltal dan yalaws tihgns ppele,o llaeoti,yonm hsa'tt kayo. Way setighh oe,rsnp so eht slow sa ghhsi vee'w owgrn aglon dna a adn ruo lwetos mchu dah. Idevl we tylcuaal. Doog to alos adn ifle us sha enbe ulf,l. Dsa eth i nedsntudra not hcae brette ,asisnlep the reimoem,s rea tbu a olt won ,rnylprgssiiu. Tsill i tihs meeismtso heva ,nodig hatw ywnaay no er'ew deia eogiynnj tbu mi'. Eprot,y a maedrs aktne itm,e dan eth of fo a btu nad phta a orf a and fo elhp, si bit wdon i'm nald cgsiohno eerh hreet won, in uerfut og ot otl ti 'its. Lefe is, het on rogenl ew rpta ebts lanoe. .

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