A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Oesg. .
.
Eehr ascsr on ,ot lal eerw r,am teh noe iwrhcheve aer rfgrinree uyo lislt rouy. Litlte dnow lstil lpoeep tbu my nrkeob fer,smaro ebne i ehat cunhigto a 'vei. I wkne ot avhe os wno tub nthki taht etnh hte i i feil my het tsap aesscep as tshi rfmo hnwe dear a,smlto pniot my inleegsf n'itdd and smeesotmi sagnermsairb lr,ea kyluc i am hatt i at eewr fo ahev laiyd. Okismgn, i'ev tuc uqit wdon nsmmyelei it haolthug i htaven'. Ma my tleeilsfy viglin teh ni is vmnrntenioe eaheirhtl noly rlyencrtu i aebusec fo. Ekli feil days, nd'toes nda me eelf i anomery isltl mose cteexi. Si lcal is erb,tet utjs i usllyau sday eon ti tnex and dan bda peoh hte them. .
.
Emoc dna dovme t'indd aayw i bcak. Gtcpeniex cuf,k i ahtt, hntik n'wtas yuo maybe asuce netre'w. Liusosery a wuodl less vei' eebn byema ttlile knwe if aey,sr 4 cngiom swa ohtse neakt you r,yesa 4 yuo athw efli heer vhae dna. Of to,yrep nadl mead ni galno adn ot sudnherd vleo adn of ruet, fo eahsp fnoud ldnaiionutonc iderfns meht it oyu ersdam ywa, dmea teh het. On htwi 4 sayer, edam elpeop het so i iprt fnirfedte ewnt in so see mte spta a su sietocun,r we nda nyma erew to pu lal i haypp er,poue rdfiesn ynam enctylre to so ni woh. Os are vlode ew. Llfe ot owrng aayw ieanv dna oepsnr was alwk yuo too lveo ni wthi het. Ifdn het ew uodlc rnidgkni too lla eed,w ttreads adn gkomsin nigod mhcu udsgr. Qiut onw lal thta ev'i. Ti atth swa gdoo utp i su but i wish lareyl a esmesimot ufck htrhguo eons,sl vreen. To syad w,on rewhe egt bkca miet emso adn koot i gslutger it llist olng i ot a ma. Hcum morf eikl evi' cctape to tife,ielm moec a su het hte liwl arscs tsal dad csars meco atth ftle htat ot on. Wtih heyt hepo ot ielv aieser i lyelar etg. .
.
Ledrbiu efll trdie taht, teh s,i ouy oesmnoe ithw to uoyr put yuo godo nsew wlehi lla you retaf in hitw ielf neev pu loev nad. In hwo oyu si ht,o eyes rtreusea aild roheta,n uyo roensp ,mhi soeowmh neo eht os atht drlow het otmemn hte or oyu man eidkl wno osmt ouy no mrfo fungcik oudnf. Ogdo etmh aeornht wniatgn e'rtnwe uyo i one apehednp a iths neo esmrpoi e,mti a s'eh a,inga enhw you of nogla ti acem ienlpha,oistr utb. Su ym rental rfo nles,so i. Iemt rof a veah trbeet i ihst pkee iknth lcno'udt wll'e rpeantr adn ekasd i mhi. .
.
Uatbo h,moe ehr our eerngitpnd oet'dsn sd'ad so to arc,pdele eyra rcy wchih need not'd ehs slle goign hoilhodcd ets to tenx ekne etirer mi' galuh adn um'ms i dan. Heyt aws nmoht dan a ese nda whne raheutgl acme tmeh a fro i reteh ddi tiv,si oga arset ohtb. R,aeh in ehmt gultohha sene what aryse 3 eth lratghi era wthi rsbehort teh orfm rwlod estta ha'tnve i lomsat of the i. Eb ohuhgt 'ill ohem noso. .
.
Efli dtnmreeot us sah. And ylswaa lnytleam leop,pe toemoayl,nil ishngt kayo stt'ah re'ew saye utb ehnt'va nda iacmardt tno nebe. The ew've esrpo,n ihgsh dha dna nda lsow mcuh ngwro so ayw ruo wetlso a as goaln thgihse. Ew cluaytla eidlv. Su u,lfl bnee sha loas flie nad to ogdo. Rea het tbu danestrnud ton lot osm,remie i tbreet lnas,spie the now dsa ecah psnris,yrglui a. Aawyyn mesotemis btu i on niynogej adie shti aveh g,oidn 'im ilslt ere'w thwa. Is otl ot and it 'mi sredam a of a dna 'tsi ow,n in ldan ueuftr tbi chnogiso adn rthee kntea hple, of fro dwon imet, tpoeyr, teh eher og phat of but a a. ,is aonle on eth stbe tapr we oelrng efle. .

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Press ← and → on your keyboard to move between letters

Write new comment

Load more comments