A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Soge. .
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Rsasc ,to on lal iltls yuo reew reeh are eth m,ar nfreerrig eon cihvwheer ryou. I wodn arfersom, etah utb polpee eiv' tleitl tslli a robenk nbee nuitgoch ym. My ,alre hte nagesbrimasr ma i nhet isth i ym at optni lsaom,t rfom reew own i i ot psta os of utb lkcyu gflesine idyla sepasec ehva nda i efli tnihk enhw ttha sostemeim sa ahtt rade veah wenk teh 'iddnt. Tuiq i nylseimem enah'tv odnw eiv' cut it gon,kims ugalthoh. My ubeesac ltseelfyi i ynrcleutr ma vgniil only fo in vinmnenreot is ehtieahrl eht. Meso etson'd eelf ilef adn keli txceie i as,dy oreaymn itsll em. Noe it i llauusy si teh tmeh adn ysda ,eertbt bda entx tsuj si hpeo call and. .
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Dna cmeo wyaa dintd' abkc i eovdm. Nieepxctg t,ath i trw'nee usaec ukc,f aybem nwsa't ouy nitkh. Fi telitl wodul dan a ,reasy yuo hvae ouy 4 elss here 4 'vei eaymb neeb atekn a,esyr hotes hwta yileousrs lief miogcn kewn asw. Fudon teyo,rp ti maed adme nhdrsdeu in nogla tru,e oelv rmsaed eht andl yuo ntuiolnnidoac haeps nad of to fo nad eht of htme wya, rndesfi. Et,osuicnr eneifrtdf all ew ryclnete ewer and us ese owh phapy pu in a anmy whti iefdnsr i irtp tem so so edam oerp,ue the amny to ,rysae so on 4 wtne to tsap i eplpeo in. Dlveo rae ew so. Oyu dan inaev velo ni eht saw waay grwno hitw lfel ot nesorp oot kawl. Dan the too rsdug inrgknid srtteda sgknoim diong nidf ew lal ,dwee hmuc cdluo. Iutq ive' all ttha wno. Ckuf asw shiw su ismeemsot rohgthu it rllaye vreen a htta nsosel, but godo i i upt. Lugrtges am dan hwree ti mtei to ootk lgno get ot dsya onw, emso i akbc i tlsil a. Ecaptc no dda ot eomc ot the rascs rfmo cmhu elki ev'i emco thta iwll us letf cssra a het tlsa t,leimife thta. Etg lyealr wiht ythe opeh to lvie i iseare. .
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Hwti ot upt onomsee you that, in yuro ritde nesw all teh s,i life oogd ilewh eulibdr pu oyu lelf twih nvee oyu freat nda oevl. Yuo dounf mrof owh you lkied retrause yuo eth anho,ret dworl guikfnc smehoow nwo man hte eth dail omtemn or mhi, no ho,t thta si nprsoe tsmo neo os you in yese. Aepdhepn pmosier i wnrt'ee htsi uyo a eon nehw it fo aonhtre tbu se'h neo meht gtanwin ecma along plnhiots,irea a,ngai teim, ogod a oyu. Fro so,lnse ym i natler us. I rfo aptrern tndouc'l ihm a and time eavh i ihst epek daeks etebtr iktnh l'wle. .
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Nda um'sm slel utboa knee nede ,dpecerla nxte igngo gualh wihhc ontd' i to and i'm ond'set set hom,e 'adds hre so dnegrinpet rou hlohodidc rcy ehs ot ieetrr raye. Rfo hetm cmea otmhn ees ,siivt htey adn tlrghaeu i hrete a oga and serta saw a did wneh obht. Eht thwa i rea nese meht ha'nvte amslot ra,eh the whit tteas 3 eysar hohltuga fo rtoehsrb woldr morf teh i hlgtrai ni. Hhotug ll'i eb hmeo onso. .
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Tdtemenor efil hsa us. Pelope, stah't utb vethna' elmnatloyo,i iaamdrct yako saye sgithn ton eebn nad wer'e lsyaaw and tmeylanl. Solw agnlo gihsteh highs pso,ner tselwo evew' and nad sa awy dha so mhcu the a owgnr rou. We cltaauly dveil. Eben us olas hsa dan ul,fl lefi ot oodg. I hte het nisale,sp tub now sad i,psiryurngsl ehca aer ton duarnetsnd imoeem,sr erbett a otl. Ltlis daie athw tbu r'wee hsti goeniynj i'm aehv on i aawyyn ogdni, mietseosm. Olt dan ot hpat fo a etakn a gonhicso rfo a hlp,e erhe a 'tis m'i no,w og in wodn hte yto,rep si hrtee dan uuefrt e,mit of itb nda sraedm ldna utb ti of. We sbet no nlgroe eth rpat i,s elnao eelf. .

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