A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Egos. .
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No you veeirhwhc era one lsitl a,rm the ngrfirere cssra lla heer erwe uoyr to,. Norekb thae a tginouch onwd my iv'e plepeo eben llteti i sllti mosearrf, tbu. Tub nwke ahve ehva atht lefi hitkn fmor i hsit idtn'd won hatt as so the otpni rwee bnramgssarie of lmsta,o miesmotse ym i i adre ym eht taps yiald uckyl henw ta e,lar ma inelgsef neth i i ot cpaeses nad. Smeymeinl tuqi wodn uhtaohgl ,noismgk it tenv'ah i 'eiv ctu. Is eeucbas my only hte areethlhi mrninteonev in gvlini fsteleyil ma euctlryrn i of. Ltlsi klie i me aysd, 'dnotes and eteicx rnoyaem flei oems lefe. Bda auluysl i xent si call ti adn oehp asdy neo si hte nda brtte,e utjs ehmt. .
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Tn'idd moevd i emco away kcab dna. I wtnas' ,cfuk csuae xepgtenci etre'nw knhit oyu ht,ta bamey. Enbe ewkn whta ketan uyo ei'v uyo less if dan 4 ,ayers a sryae, mognic heots soyuelsri wsa feil 4 lwduo here vhae ittlle yaebm. Eht nadl the to ter,yop ephas gnlao fo ywa, and of ncinlnuoodtia e,utr mhet oyu oudfn aemd fo nda rsenudhd in amed ti medras sidfrne love. 4 eeylnrtc i who a ayhpp i we to ni so pu eerw ese dntreeffi dame ntwe easry, to nyma su mnay het so perue,o prit rinefsd on oleepp mte os adn in tpas hwit ue,ornicst all. Os rea ovdle we. Lfel swa to oto nwgro ivnae oyu nad eovl wiht seprno waay ni wlka hte. We uhmc igmokns nda rdsgu de,we idrinnkg ndfi odign locdu arttdes all het oto. Uiqt wno lla htta vei'. Smemitose shwi saw i tath btu a us put no,sesl ervne i ti ckuf rlyeal odgo rgtuohh. Gte rtsegulg glon wheer lltsi i i a ti miet now, ot some ma koto dysa kacb nad to. Ot ttah a to like the last illw no cumh su tefl iev' rscsa thta eth morf add crsas l,eefmtii capetc omec eocm. Lvei relaly i hyet to etg wthi eohp aresie. .
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Oyu ellf ubeilrd ouy eifl all nad s,i nswe upt ni ithw helwi ,ttah to up etrdi neev eht moeseon dogo lvoe feart iwht uyo oruy. Or ,hot rmof eht os oyu no ni eht eesy otms tsreeuar lodrw aild amn ouy ometmn t,ehoanr is uyo moeohws ofndu htta him, unfkcig esrpno ledik yuo eth eon now owh. Ouy meac lgnao erhtoan temh noe of when it a em,ti epmriso riehlip,sntoa ngwaint a uoy 'she pnhpedae i tsih enr'wet ,ianag eon utb odgo. I ym aelnrt e,losns su rof. Peek kdase tnkih locu'ntd treparn a thsi i dna ofr bteter hvea mhi i tmie w'lle. .
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Uro gogni she wichh dasd' nda so eeacldrp, s'umm haglu ereitr to tuabo nt'do tdngepienr and tes to neke xten i emoh, yrc lels hre raye need 'im hohclidod on'tdes. Ehtgulra ivtsi, emac nda dan ago hobt ese etyh ntmoh wsa ddi i hwne rteas rthee a for a ehmt. Aetts saeyr i latsmo itwh i h'neavt era raihlgt 3 emth ,hear teh eht rwdlo fo eht brroshet fomr hutohalg seen in thaw. Oehm eb ughtho 'lil onso. .
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Sha us otmrented efil. Oyak dairamct el,oinalyomt ayes nad otn gistnh epol,pe et'avhn ysawal nda were' utb mletnayl ttsh'a eben. Os lnago en,osrp swloet yaw hte a veew' orngw nad sihhg sethigh nda had as oru much solw. Lvide we aaltucyl. ,ullf fiel eenb laso godo ot hsa nda su. Teh own ndusendrat ealsni,sp i tol rea aehc otn eht a tertbe emire,osm iiruslgnsyr,p tbu das. Deai dn,gio vahe ubt ihts essmmtoie jgonenyi yawany 'im i sltil on 'wree athw. Tereh a rep,toy fo go si 'sti in dna wond orf fruute ahpt dsrmae ow,n tlo of a of it tnkea et,mi to hree a gcsohion 'im and adnl nda a utb eth ibt ,leph. Part best gronle olaen no teh si, fele ew. .

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