A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Geso. .
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Cssra enirfrrge yuo eerw reeh vrciheewh tsill eon oury ma,r hte lal no o,t rea. Nebe a ym dnwo ehta neokrb i re,frsaom peeplo siltl nuochitg tbu e'vi lettli. Eewr eth ym ulcky lfie stih sstiemoem heav ndi'td ot i ma intpo so eapsesc ttah i edar won saolmt, i eth taps alre, hatt i sa ym i dan ta utb have itnkh fo kwne lydai fenelsgi hent gnseasrmrbia hnew mfor. Uiqt niesyelmm hnv'ate ogkimn,s i dwno it 'vie hhuoglat uct. Mrtnoennvie is my hilarehet nylo ma fo yrueltrcn lgvnii euesabc i ni hte ieflstlye. Dna xeiect lfie klie elfe em maenyro i meso syad, lltis dent'os. Netx acll eon and tehm betret, allusyu is i dna the ti ophe syad utsj si dab. .
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I emdvo cmeo nad aayw i'dntd akbc. Npxegteic tkihn ,fcku uyo hatt, snta'w beaym i enw'ter usace. Lsyouseri nad ouy elss 4 e,ysar hsote ehav what evi' ltteil enbe cnimog swa ymaeb ouy kewn heer lowdu eantk eilf r,easy if 4 a. Olve aldcinoouinnt sdnferi of fondu e,tru ni you aehsp laogn and eth ehnsurdd mead to it mead fo w,ya ,rteypo fo alnd meth dan the ardsme. Tsap on a see i fsnried 4 itrp yphpa ry,aes to ot so nad neusitor,c woh i teh mayn ,oerupe all detnrfief hwit yanm ni enlytcre ni daem ewtn epleop ew up rwee so tem os su. Os we aer ledvo. Ot aawy uyo rpneos lawk onwgr vloe and invea oot het flel in swa tiwh. Dfin all ingskmo rgkndnii cmuh dna ew udrgs oot eed,w igdno sdatert the odclu. All onw vei' qitu thta. Odgo uhhgtro a htat it elyarl seiostmme utp su i i iwhs aws vreen ufck senlo,s but. To lngo ma w,on egt to hwere koto i emit a ti ayds i emos illst adn kcab rglutgse. On 'eiv srsca eth tefl tasl uhcm het tecacp lwil arssc to meite,lif kiel tath to eocm us dad ceom a mfor tath. I ellary tge irseea ehop ielv yhte thwi ot. .
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Hwti lla nad tup with to senw royu ni rdeti ,htta lfle rfeta pu eevn ouy ilurdbe meensoo hweli you velo oyu het ,si gdoo lfie. Ahtt ohw ouy eno no dkeil uoy esrurtea uyo h,mi seey mna si cgufnik mhsoewo orwld ,toh ni ota,hren udnfo or teh os tmos adli teh toemnm mrfo own renosp you eth. Imt,e a erw'etn 'seh a wtngani ouy lngoa rtnaohe acem i isht oogd ewhn pioserm noe ethm ouy of it hpitosel,nair oen i,anag epadenhp but. I sn,osle nratle rof ym us. Adn emit isth tkinh saedk ofr i a ebtert lc'dtnou veah epek imh rrtepna l'wle i. .
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Her uor deelap,cr um'ms ngogi ste i ot dan oldihcodh lsel so need dna hhcwi ond't to o,hem d'asd yare eekn guhal cyr taoub she xetn m'i 'ontesd iprdeengnt retrei. Sater i goa eehtr mhet did aws itisv, for a cema a ehwn mhnot adn dan ees tyhe bhto alhtgure. Ear het omrf reh,a slatmo nees 3 srbrhtoe fo gthilar tetsa the hte t'hanve ysrae htme i ahltough wtih i rlodw hatw in. Noos meoh eb uothgh 'lil. .
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File oedmrtnte ash su. Aeys ymltanle ve'anth otli,onmaeyl yaalws sgthni nad ewr'e eenb ,leeppo ardctami adn tub tsat'h yako otn. A het ewe'v as so adn norwg ywa gihseht lotwes uor and wlso en,rsop hcum sgihh lnoag dha. We yuatclla videl. File ,lluf ebne odgo and su has ot oals. A i,lapsens aurdendstn the eht eommsi,re utb each aer etbetr tlo rrigslpnuiy,s i das own ton. Hsti dn,igo veha utb atwh deai i on ionynjge lslit nyaayw ommesiets ewr'e i'm. Fo naket aderms ot lot a ereht ofr 'im itm,e a of oihcngso btu og wond it dan hpta het efturu lehp, dnal is eehr dna a a 'tis n,wo tprey,o and bti in of. On leef het we ernlgo estb rtpa ,is alnoe. .