A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Oseg. .
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Rouy oyu rae crass rveehwcih amr, nerfregri noe itlls all the ,to on erew eehr. Ive' arf,seomr tlielt tsill ym thicguon dwno pepole tub eaht bene a ekrobn i. Rewe i thta ckyul i i dna ym newh eegfisln mbnarssaeirg eht imeosmets tneh easescp ubt ilayd inkth ehva fo so i to mfro i knew file now intdd' as atth sapt my ma the tonip rade ta itsh veah er,al s,oatml. I donw tuc 'nevath ylnmimese evi' ti i,nkmogs qitu tohhalug. Si ym ivngli ylno sylliteef i of inemrtvoenn aehteirhl ni ma tnuyeclrr the bceeusa. I d,asy em rmeonay eifl lefe dets'no and moes tllsi ekil eixect. Etmh texn i dan is is it hpoe dba eht tjus trbet,e call eno nda ausluyl sdya. .
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Ckab veomd yawa tdnid' dan i emco. Ueasc yuo k,ufc i ttha, eipnegctx naswt' hitkn ybeam w'eernt. Swa tseho rehe lsse eyamb 4 dolwu iefl yuo eyas,r uyo 4 netak e'iv eenb oncimg ahtw oylsseiru as,yre and enkw a if ietltl vhea. Ouy adn ot of wy,a fo alnog eamd veol the dinerfs donuf maedrs rute, tmeh louondnciiatn adn maed yorep,t of eth espah it denrdshu in lnda. A newt eleppo os ot reosnc,tiu lenyterc phyap no nda ffieretnd us see how ymna iwth emt i i so amed eht ueep,ro in stap 4 wree ritp ferdnsi os ynma to lla in up ew ryes,a. Voeld ew rea so. Nad teh ot oot evina efll saw vleo you thiw ni eopnsr wngor waya lwak. Lla the atresdt too cmhu de,we gomnksi idfn odgin gsdur we codul nknigdir adn. Lal vei' atht won ituq. Wsih ourhthg fcku upt yrleal hatt i so,nsel tbu saw envre su it a ogdo emtmesios i. Tlgrgeus ot rehew asdy meti lslit glon nad ot i back am okto ,own tge ti i a esom. Mceo last e'iv ltef coem hmcu ot the sracs dda ot hatt a ormf scars eimitfl,e capcet su llwi hte that on elik. I iwht tge rellya tehy sierae epho ivel ot. .
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Ritde all pu enws ot eiwlh upt hwti lefl eth htwi evne ni oyu oogd h,att lfie oesnoem uyo durileb dna uoy your atref is, evlo. Dlai dlwor uretsare you eldki how ni is onepsr ,tnrahoe seey eht nuodf hte os oyu fuknigc rofm nwo eon ro uyo hatt stmo owohsem mna oh,t im,h yuo tmonem on the. Ioha,ltpnersi i noe nhew ,imte uoy ouy hetrnoa oen a,igna utb hpeandpe a tehm itwnagn of thsi ti 'hes omprsie ent'wer a doog onalg eamc. My i for ls,oesn nletar us. Mhi tkhni fro aehv tshi a peek i time and edaks i lw'el dul'ncto ptrnear erbtte. .
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Lhuag sten'do he,mo nrdeegptni ognig erh ryea cwhhi hes i tbuao 'adds enek so tse delapr,ce cry cdooilhdh sell oru to mi' o'ndt rereit ums'm to dan and enxt eden. Yhet htob oag i ese hmet and for henw saw idd emac srate ehret adn a si,ivt ruethgal ohmtn a. Ebhrorst sttea ,aher tolmas ni het erasy rdolw twih htluhoag the i are i nsee eht wtha 3 fo rhgiatl vt'eanh morf tehm. Oosn lil' ghouht be ehom. .
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Elfi su sha odreentmt. Salayw dna we're and ynlelomati,o eebn yoka lmaetlyn ton t'hats yaes tub a'nethv lepepo, htgsin tacdrmia. Teh ucmh hda dan ihsgh gsehhti awy glona owls p,ersno ngwor adn as os 'wvee toewls a ruo. We tualycla dilve. Su oogd lul,f hsa nda osal elif to eben. Now ont are ads otl snpglu,sririy i a teterb tbu het ,seimremo aep,slisn eht hcea nsdteanurd. Tahw on oyiegnnj 'mi btu ihst i 'erwe siltl awynya veah mssemieot diea dg,noi. Rep,tyo ni a here apht olt he,lp lnda btu ime,t nw,o and to bit dna icnosgho tkena is dwon fo dresma teerh rof a dan i'ts the og fo it fo furute im' a a. Oneal sbet trap we eelf on i,s hte noregl. .

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