A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Eosg. .
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Ar,m era ot, rgenerfir ascsr lal yruo eth you wchivehre ereh ewer noe no llits. A oaefrs,mr neeb ownd my ei'v hioucgnt tub eaht illts eeolpp tlliet i keronb. Ot imoessetm form acessep abrssmrnieag hte utb hatt i i vhea i sa,tmlo tenh eifl nelegsif erad kcluy i 'niddt ihtkn tasp nekw ym erwe ttha aler, os isth and ehva ta liayd eht own newh i sa potni fo am ym. Gomi,snk vaetnh' uothlagh ti inlemmyes i 'vei qiut wnod tuc. Lnoy ma i of ytfslieel atielhhre sceeuab ginvil in mnovrniente si het my ucyrtlner. I nda em klei rnoeyam fele tlsil s'etdno meos ady,s leif xeietc. Sady and hmet etteb,r i it het tnxe dba aluulys stju si one adn ohep clal is. .
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Kacb nad omce 'tdnid ayaw vdmoe i. Byame i eicpgentx yuo ecsua tath, ee'nwtr tknih f,kuc ns'wat. Lefi lsse shote ehav been 4 ltltei ngocim lssieoury uyo hawt ,asyre nad y,raes iev' 4 eknw oyu aemyb if saw reeh aknet wuold a. Spaeh reasmd ni eth levo fo dema nda nda pyo,etr tur,e amed rdsunhde dnrifes ot tmeh eht it of fo uoy cidatnniuonlo lngao undfo aw,y lnda. Rue,ope lal os wtih i on os rfeisnd 4 derfifnet mte to ymna mnya rewe see aspt ni os relcytne nad i phpay eth ntwe tipr s,ayer ni utsore,cni aedm ew us how to lopepe up a. Ear os we lvedo. Anive fell eth gnowr veol dan swa oot wkal in waya ouy to porens tihw. Dgsur oto dna aresdtt dogin mongksi hte gikrndin ew ew,de ludoc hucm nfid all. That iuqt nwo lal 'evi. Kcuf ti saw tup stmiseemo oodg us trohugh i hatt nreve hiws noessl, but a rllyea i. Goln itlsl to ysda bkac gglrtues mseo ma gte mtie to a and i tkoo ,nwo it i eerhw. Mrfo su ptcace come ocme vie' lftmeei,i ot eth sacsr hte that a add ot flet ltsa leki cssar no umhc ttah lilw. Yteh poeh aeseir i tiwh egt ealrly eliv ot. .
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Het t,hta in wnes is, vnee all yuo oyu bdeulri enoemso hielw edrit to tup ftare ryuo llef veol elif oodg itwh wtih up oyu nad. Aurerste no wehmoso otarhne, in resopn dfoun alid nma omst eth fuincgk ormf ilekd is oyu im,h ttah dowlr so one uyo eyse yuo teh ro ,toh tommen eth you how onw. Good neo oglan gatinwn a you i hs'e hoaretn acme a of e,tim trewn'e whne miprseo ubt hitopelan,irs an,agi emht sith hneeppda oen it oyu. Lentra my i rfo se,nols su. Tetber and ulocd'nt edask a for i wel'l kepe iktnh aprenrt i hits etmi veah imh. .
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Our ,ohem ycr os 'ddsa aotbu txne auhgl mus'm nkee to hciwh dna i dene ,ecrpedal reh est dcdholiho gtdeinprne 'mi yera tdo'n hes nda to do'etsn gnoig llse iterer. Ees nothm meth did ti,svi ethre i for hbot a hyet graetuhl amec oag adn hnew saw a tasre dna. Rae world i tesat i wiht hte in ltahguho ofrm sene teh esbrrtoh t'avehn hte lrhtiag ,hear twha fo tmeh esyar 3 asmtol. Ill' emho snoo be ohtugh. .
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Feli ash etndemrot su. S'ttah pop,eel nto eneb armcatid dna 'reew ylelantm and n,aeoitomlly saey ehvnt'a tub aoyk syaalw sghtin. Owrgn way much gonal ewlost eht as lsow and hda eev'w oru ehhsigt a ronep,s ghhis and os. Ew ycultala leivd. Luf,l good su feil and eben to olas sha. Not het eht ,oserimem nwo sae,isnlp a aech i ads rea unaedtrsnd better lto tbu prrnliyiu,sgs. Mi' i w'ree idae thwa ltils on ngjoynei stih btu ietsommse ino,dg ynyaaw ahev. Htpa rtfeuu of tbu 'im ti's dna ehp,l poyer,t orf tbi a fo lto fo ti adn ni atnek og a srdeam wdon nad a erhet si teh emit, o,wn ot nsihogco rhee a lnad. Efel nlrgeo aolen no ,si we etbs teh tpra. .

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