A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Esgo. .
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Erergnfri ,to ma,r aer lal uyor on tslil wevchrhie were you teh arssc rhee eon. My a bene ilttel sllit evi' wdno taeh cuonithg kebnor tub am,sfoerr peolep i. Ot aiydl somtseemi lief erad i dtind' pntio erwe ta ycukl feniglse hvea hwen het ,tslmoa spta ttha ym am vahe i thsi my but i as so teh rfmo sarmsgarenib ehnt newk spacees era,l ikhnt wno dna i fo i that. Ti i h'entav ogsmink, cut smenielmy v'ei onwd utiq lhuotgah. Ma si ym of hlearthei vignli i in het seaucbe leitsyfel nytrelcur eoivrtnenmn only. Me i exitce ilfe eelf s'edotn keil tllsi ayd,s naeyorm and osme. Ehpo terbe,t si nxte dna is teh oen aluyuls bad lcla nad i it ysda ethm usjt. .
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Waya dan ckba voedm n'ddit i mcoe. ,fukc incxtgeep uyo weter'n acuse i htikn yambe tth,a t'nswa. Feil aesyr, fi enatk eerh iconmg a hesto 4 nda 'eiv rsea,y byaem uyo bnee 4 vaeh eknw oyu reoslsyui sesl ltetli htaw uowld wsa. Ot oyu sdnrudeh dna fo tpo,rye easdmr paseh odufn dema made uilncaiondotn dna of tr,eu adnl meht love gonla in fo w,ya het disnrfe het it. Su to ni i os in pu a ndsefri riu,etsonc 4 anmy epue,ro dan adem wnte ese yea,rs the mte how aynm tpri ppeoel with tsap no driteffen ot lal erew we so neceltyr yphap i os. Os we rea eldov. Fell aws rnwog vole whti oot to het naive dan in uyo waya walk rpseno. Ongdi ed,ew ew dna umhc lal ndif too girnkdni eth urgsd etstadr ikgnmso codul. Ttah won lal itqu 'iev. Rveen ihsw su a trhugoh it osemeitsm ttah i oogd upt ssonle, cufk was ealryl btu i. Get etim now, gusgelrt emos ti and weehr ot to i i koto ilstl a bkca adsy ogln ma. Oecm iekl a het ilwl on omce ot thta taht srsca tlfimee,i salt arcss frmo su cmhu epctca ot dda ftle hte eiv'. Ielv to gte hwit thye i ealrly reseia ophe. .
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Tpu nwes uoy eenv uryo evlo ouy ehiwl odog life wthi lefl all osenmeo ouy in ,si to wiht pu bdilrue tider nad fraet hte a,tth. Ugkncif tonehr,a dlkei amn seonpr ni os adli ro no hte onufd one yees woh sowohme euerrast yuo rowld uyo h,mi ,hto htta orfm the mneotm eth you nwo tsmo is you. Good i ehmt of gonal tbu aintgwn meac anig,a rtnaoeh asriolpiten,h a 'she eon a apdehpne ouy hist epimrso whne yuo oen ti nweet'r eit,m. Olesn,s rof rtenal i my us. I ntrapre ellw' orf hvea nad i inhkt etbret imet dtnuco'l this ihm ekep a deaks. .
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Adn os abuto ehr m'i ndee rcy ot hugal cp,ereadl ells esh ogign eekn smm'u m,oeh to sd'nteo i sad'd trriee 'ntdo ichhw enxt hoolddchi rineengpdt ayre tes oru nda. Trugleah a i eehtr nda did htme fro t,sivi hobt ese goa nda a thye newh eacm estra othnm saw. Mfro athohugl are in hwat treshbor them 'hvetan taets thwi 3 seen of rsaey i hte eth i eah,r ilhratg odwrl the mslato. Soon eb omeh utohhg i'll. .
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Lfie ahs ettrdemon us. Adn lasawy ole,pep esya v'naeht eneb tbu nda er'we yellamtn ylt,eamiooln otn tsghin s'hatt aitradmc yaok. Dha hghsi itehhgs wosetl sa nad w'vee os oru dna rowng anolg a ,nsroep mcuh hte solw ayw. Atlcaylu ew vedli. Dan sha l,luf losa good to us flie enbe. The tbu lot meoe,irms now aech ont ads tnadunsder are a ilspasn,e nr,rsispiulgy etetbr hte i. Ubt siht lslti edai ehva idog,n 'im awth geyninjo r'wee nyaawy smsmieoet no i. Thap time, lnda is in etp,ryo ti erutfu of a a nad a fro a ubt dan ersadm ibt ehtre akten w,no osohnigc erhe go h,lpe ot ownd eth of nda im' lot of ts'i. ,is hte oenal no erlogn flee rpta we etsb. .

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