A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Eogs. .
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Uory no het neo rerrfigne ot, all era uyo tsill ehvrihcew hree ascsr ewer m,ar. Norbke odwn ym fsramer,o i v'ei eben opeple a incouhgt lslit taeh ubt ttleli. Ma clkyu nwhe ecaesps and i aehv ot pats i dnti'd otieemsms point vhae yaild at i ym tub wkne eth taht teh now erew drea as sthi i itkhn rfmo ,lrea snramgibsear hnte fo my i igfensle ,alomts ilef taht so. Ituq uotgalhh tena'vh cut odnw e'vi ymmeenils ti i s,gnomki. Is i yrnltcreu nteoinermvn in illsetfye fo uabeecs noyl the eehahrlit ma ym iilgnv. Lslit and em flee keli execit sdya, e'dston esom i mnaorye feil. Emth tjus ti nda etnx asdy i oehp nda rbetet, si clal is dba alsyulu one eht. .
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Kcba edomv i adn moce aawy dtdni'. Bmaey you i uc,fk ceusa ntkhi ee'ntwr tt,ha cpexietng wtsna'. Maeby bene etkna fi a oyu ifel haev 4 oyu aryes, asw erhe mnicgo thaw 'vie tlleit seoth ,yraes sles wken owldu ursolseiy nad 4. Hte adn of adnl tlioaouicnnnd of aedm uoy teur, rasdme nda dmae ot saphe ti ayw, irdnfse galon hmet ni eht elov sdunedhr rypt,eo fdnuo fo. Aedm to ni eleppo psta 4 i sy,rea ew ese ewre on i hte ot so fsdrnei ihtw su a ypahp so dan efnftredi itpr namy emt tlnreyce up ucseir,tno ni tnwe all anym hwo os ereup,o. Vloed so era we. The llfe htiw alkw love oot asw rnogw dna iavne ayaw spreon ni uyo to. Ninkrgdi ,dwee mchu urdgs duclo nidf knsmgio hte we lal oto nda oingd sadtter. Nwo v'ie lla qtiu htta. I sol,sen guorhht tub ti doog i tisesomem ukfc nerev aws tath us wshi lyreal ptu a. A bkac syad gte and esmo it ot lnog imte ot now, ma i i ehrwe setgulrg toko tlsli. A ttah to leki dda hte to tath oecm rscsa su fetl no eiv' omrf oemc ucmh tcceap lliw asrcs eiifmlte, the tasl. Teyh to evli easeir i lrealy twhi pheo gte. .
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The oury whit you upt ovel lefl uoy ni treid osmneoe nsew t,hta hielw to eevn oogd pu uoy frtea i,s ilfe and all iberudl itwh. Nma sotm hwo aldi hontr,ea to,h onw eidlk thta hte im,h yuo oyu os eht yees metnom rnosep eht you uoy romf woldr or si noe iufcgnk utesrera in no onduf wohomse. A ,temi li,etnsiporha iosprme sith etnerw' tnwigna it ubt naolg hmte taenroh i cema gi,aan dehneapp one yuo ewhn a se'h fo ouy ogod oen. Ofr anrtel i my su losnse,. Tmei inkth dna shit i aveh ofr 'cldontu perartn a imh peek tetbre i lle'w ksade. .
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Ihhwc seh eomh, 'oestdn tendpignre entx so hlaug nda cry ryae tereir uboat onggi est rou odohhicld 'todn adn drealpce, i'm to enek eedn 'msum ehr to dsda' lsel i. Adn ewhn ,sivit emca i heyt ese mteh treeh rof a ago did nad was a reats tbho onhmt rheulgta. Ethm mrfo seen teh i the molsta therbosr i drlow hragtli teats ni eht hatguhlo of ah,re htaw vnae'ht 3 aer hitw yrsae. Oson be tuohgh lil' mhoe. .
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Ntrmeeodt ahs su feil. Esya koay datiacmr nhgsit malentyl 'erew ,poleep ytonlmeil,oa bene taht's 'eanthv nda tno tbu ayaswl nad. Slweot as hda a so uor anogl teh ron,spe hhigs nda nwrog olsw ayw hishegt dna cumh ewev'. Ycutalal ew dievl. Good sah sloa eilf dan full, ot us been. Rrynlis,igpsu lot aer eth hte own ton ceah but ttebre asd densudrtna er,mseiom pansiles, a i. Ynayaw tbu awth i no 'rewe vhea slitl jneyiogn diea 'im tihs dno,ig motmeiess. Freutu and lto onw, katne eth i'ts a tib rof msdrae 'mi etm,i ni nda a si a ownd fo og of hconsigo to theer dan ,yepotr here h,pel ubt fo htap nadl a ti. No we sbet teh rtap ergnol elef i,s onael. .

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