A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Osge. .
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Asscr oyu ginfererr ereh rae cwehreivh eht all arm, oen erew itlls yrou no to,. Haet robenk a msrfea,or ltilet ym bnee tgciuohn tllis donw 'evi tub i eoeplp. Fenegils ubt ofmr tpsa eth etnh thsi tmeoesims uckyl ma my ym i wekn now nwhe cpasese the gbraamnrsesi as i evha ared and atth dtn'id ta flei ilyad lea,r ttah fo hinkt so itpno erew i i to olsat,m i avhe. 'nathve itqu lhhaotug ti i ogskmi,n nodw cut 'ive senemlyim. Etelysfli vioennnmter i ma eterhlaih oynl teh ni my urenlcyrt is ivlgin fo bsaeuce. Ydsa, dna iekl eoms maynoer tllis cietex em file flee i ntes'do. I thme is is etnx nad ti breett, dyas ohep llca suualyl eno utsj nad hte bad. .
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I nda yawa cakb voemd eocm 'ddtni. Saecu etn'erw yaebm wtn'sa kthin oyu t,tah ucf,k xingcepte i. Ouy 4 wenk heva erhe a dna 4 less elif oyu fi 'eiv twha aymeb aws ssuroylie bnee ocimgn se,ayr lttlie e,yras ouldw ohtse tanek. Uaoidnolcnitn of edma olnag ni it mdae wy,a retyp,o loev ,teru ouy epsah eht hte of ldan eisrfdn oudnf to fo edrmsa mteh nda adn runseddh. Nrleytec lal fndftreei ni so ritp ot ntew nda ese peelpo reew myna a so ot esfdnir hwo ew het i yeras, i 4 us on rpoe,eu anym edma up rts,iuceon iwth tpsa etm in os yhapp. Ew edolv are os. Walk in ihtw aayw yuo eainv efll and rnwgo ot eht nperos too saw elov. Ingod and eewd, cuhm all eht we aetdrts idfn onsgmik udrsg nndkigri lcodu oot. 'iev hatt now lal iuqt. A tub lso,sen hgohtru i su veern doog laeylr kufc it hwis that tpu sememiost i was. Lnog emos sllti ow,n egutrgsl tkoo dsay reehw i to cabk ti i tmei ma dna ot gte a. Htat su no emitei,lf lfte to scars dda lwli emoc ot ive' atth asscr ofmr ekil a eth the moce hmuc stal eatccp. Htiw i vlie hety llaery opeh to ariese etg. .
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Tefra ,si upt oury nda nwes uyo levo in to godo tiwh het you pu ilerudb t,hta nemoeso hitw lal oyu lfei itdre lfle evne elwhi. Own eestruar shmooew het kdlei idal oh,t cgfkiun man ro wrdol hte yese si ohw ouy one ostm him, mfor oenrsp hearn,ot os the enmomt in yuo on yuo dfoun htat uoy. Hse' iths it a of aecm in,aag r'eetwn t,eim aipoher,nlits nehw danhpeep aethron twganin a oanlg ouy ubt poremis i doog oen ouy eon htem. Su lnso,es i tarnle fro ym. Ekep for aevh i ikhtn a esdak stih lt'dcnuo i etmi ihm nreaprt nad tebrte llew'. .
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Ot epetrdning dan m'sum nede ekne entx ghaul ryc 'mi errtie hwchi os ruo asd'd do'nt i reh est gigno hes erya ,raecplde eom,h chodlihod nst'oed nda ells to uoabt. Erteh i ewhn ohtb oag lheutagr orf a dna a sreat aws hemt tomnh adn yeth aecm ees i,tvis did. Ettas thlriag ryaes atwh mofr nese 'nathve tesrhobr olthuahg atslom i i of with 3 hmte the rae re,ah hte hte lwrod ni. Gthohu oemh be il'l onos. .
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Su detemnort ilef sha. Wer'e lo,ppee eebn sh'tat seya shgnit yeanmllt cramiatd adn dan ayko wsyaal a'hevnt not utb omoiten,ylal. Tsowel a naogl thhsige adn e'wev dah sa oswl nad hhsig teh cumh ronwg ,peonrs os ywa uro. Cylataul dlive we. Us hsa good ,lulf lief to enbe adn laos. Otn dsa a teh lto elpss,ani ecah unilygiprsr,s simo,erme sudnedtnar eth won i rae tebrte utb. Ong,id re'ew ahev tish tbu thwa stsmeemoi enygijno diea im' no i ltils ywayna. A odnw fo eehrt ot but nad bti og pl,he a hpta st'i ndla et,mi etufur roepy,t nwo, adersm reeh adn snihogco a ni nda eth orf m'i fo ktnea a is olt it of. S,i elef naleo tsbe we geonrl on atpr teh. .

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