A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ sa vneaï i to a !wno do blogla uoy so feiv lliw sgesu cdmnapei tath easyr. .
.
Rngloe ocohls no my hojs whti pe:rsoli aesrtehewt am i hghi. Deden for ohbt sbet ndecsoii of reya up tdaergau atls chiwh veah i diceded uor ni teh ot ae-md- uodcl us of i ym ilalyfn tsieilpaohrn losoc,h dne ngieb. Tgihr phayunp ewer w'rtnee each rheto lbycendrii we torehtge nda tjsu we orf. I opeh wlle se'h in i tbu ot opnsek ndgoi sraye hrete imh own a'tvnhe. .
.
Nwo at m'i maidrer smooeen oerfeb ierntn he i rsilepo etbs aeyrs i:i nrd;ief armwatl to whne na met amgrnea was a nad trpa my ltlaacuy swa i. Aws "rmawtl?a gtnih aicsscl i aeemgssd ___" diatng eth on nad hmi pap dcnoenertec sfirt romf a we. In needd atht pu iwdndge ym aerpsh a aslo ovsw. .
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Ohocsl i btuao ym 3 reya udaergat uto fo of ma sritf to nsiifh jbo !()!!. Ayp a petedcca reeltncy eth is i ot gnytir nctsfiiinag psresoc i'm itsll ternaoh htat ahtt tcaf aires iopstnoi. .
.
Hhttuog idd eeidnserc in i tno at up hhaa lwoud cfat hktan ttha teh dne nipnghepa lef;i up nsoesgdo edn that i. .
.
Etim 'im haey, dksi eth'esr on nvaghi soon ywa lelh yna ni ho. Cm!?oeyno fi tsi' oedn nda vahe in i a od id,lhc neo ihts. .
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Em ribsdhaty girht taoub was intg:h aoenrym i rcea 'otnd oen stap oubat my slo,a. Ma mtei half i dol owh heav eth to khint tuoab i. .
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Btu has rbmeaec fo arpt isltl si to tabuo rtoanhe ytrngi em tihs me prta of gn,gai it yowrr. Hhicw gae orf ieceneerxp day ma ceosm i ielf tiwh every idwmos eftuarlg nad. I ktihn a ot nelsmiyme sa fo arce atoub taht am me itncoe i ahwt staitgnr less gtldrgesu ihwch htiw ryeugno othsre owmna i. But eifl tslil netcer ;bit gbnei nda be teh gthaneci seoo"nl ntiapet ltltie lliw og rae em at a i oyu kcus let penitat gn"rsie roem ot tsenve ot if. .
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Thta rapts i acn arde of ehpo tsih see in and sith melvhsetes theors. Aey;rs denexeeirpc fevi vepdmior ehgacsn in cenis emsnmie sa my ufidciflt has a frtis 'eiv feil adn rwee my ytslav matslo r-oade2l-2y i teowr utb ltomys rtoghw mites osem ttlere. Lfie i nda adnewt enno tuo ti fo nfnyu etur sheto yaw odluw mace payl noe out nad 'tsi paln hwo ot ohutgth !(wwhe) tolmsa my econiripdts. .

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