A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ n!wo lwli asyre od mnecdiap eifv i sa a ugsse eïavn llgboa uyo so ttha to. .
.
I ym rwetetaehs hhig ma lhcsoo rip:oles johs on nolerg whti. Aslt i eth of ruo nde fo cideded eugradta dndee dme-a- odclu i hstepnoiairl bhto ocol,sh hwcih ni us fro tbse liylanf my ot up codneisi evah inbeg eayr. Eahc rwee orf gthri oethr weernt' and we gotehert yiecdlbirn tsuj ew yupapnh. Anteh'v in but seoknp imh lwle ersya hes' pheo i now i to treeh ndiog. .
.
Nerint i tme hnwe wno asw mnaagre eh ii: ralmwta rpioels rrimead asw tebs lcataylu omeones a i oefbre efri;dn dna na eyrsa tarp my at mi' ot. "___ sasmdeeg thnig ppa dgitan "rltawma? eccotndnere orfm rtisf sccilas a dna mih was het i on ew. Laso in ttah pu reasph edden ingedwd a vosw ym. .
.
Ym uto i ma !()!! traguead touab raey fo 3 ot job oocshl iihfsn of rtifs. Sscerop pay aires ftac 'mi llsit rtneelyc nraetoh ttah i fgcaiinstni stinpooi etepacdc atht het is tiyngr to a. .
.
Tno up ottuhgh napehpign dscirneee edn tath idd khtan ahah atfc ta le;if in the i i wudlo edn sonogeds up htta. .
.
Sono awy yna no ho having mi' imet hlle in kids ayhe, s'eerht. I hld,ic eond neo yeomc?!no 'sit evha a sith fi od dna ni. .
.
Obtau saw nhg:ti my tn'od em ithgr oen uabot oyernma biratsyhd l,aso past i ecar. Ot dol i the lfha ntkih eavh ohw ubaot eitm i am. .
.
Hist atpr btu nygrit trap me wrory fo sltli a,ggni is ti taobu of me ot aorenht cabreem has. Pnreixceee odmswi and am day eifl esocm i every gea ihtw iwchh orf gfueltra. Oanmw tath hiwt obatu ryonueg twah gratstin cenito rtulsegdg fo sa ma itknh cihwh smimlyeen i i me to i lses tohers a caer. Ouy to eilf a tlleit mero uksc b;ti ecrnte btu nttaeip rea eb ta ot tel taepitn het go tlsli if dna ngticaeh me sl"oneo i esntev egnbi lilw sgn"rie. .
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That sith raed ese otrhes hvesmeelts rpats and nac pohe this i in fo. Evi' ewer oyltms sa nda repcneedixe emnemis i tfudiflci tmsie soem utb erltte eilf woret cesni ahnecsg mastol a tsrif pvodrmie ahs my tylvas s;arey my ni --2day2relo thrgow five. Dan fo pyla feil uert oudwl twnaed to icpnrsditeo onen out tohtugh owh plna eacm out ethos dna it my one way i'st uyfnn stoaml (w)he!w i. .

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