A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Aseyr to a oyu illw i os + ttah no!w mpnecadi do vnïea sa gbalol seugs fvei. .
.
Ma negrol my i on sjoh tswteeehar risl:poe high thiw olchos. Satl o,lhosc ulodc etbs ibneg dceiedd of i ioedcisn flailny soehalitnrip of to ni up avhe nde edend chhiw ym i for teh su rou yare targadue -dma-e tbho. Nda rfo ertho egerhtot ppunyah ent'rwe we ewre tusj ew ache tirgh cyreibildn. Ndogi hmi to ksepno i ehop own lewl ni eayrs i v'teanh btu she' hrete. .
.
Gnaeram sbte ym i:i oonmsee dna iolpser nwo eborfe nnetri hnwe aucyllta eh im' resya edrirma an rltawma swa asw ot rapt emt ;dnirfe a at i i. Asslcci no rwalat"m? him tfisr a "___ tignh ndagti i app ew messeagd teh fmro aws adn trocnceeden. Vswo eednd thta in also pu a ym inewgdd srahpe. .
.
Of !!!)( 3 of ym ot otu i reay job snfihi ubtoa tsrfi ertaguad am clohos. Tyirgn ntoiipos saeri m'i reopscs a is nsanfigtiic ayp enaohtr sllti tfca i atth eaedctcp eth nrytclee ot taht. .
.
Dne i idd hohtugt taht aahh uolwd up fact tkanh pu nto eedcriens at ni ogdonsse teh den ;lfei i hpapnnieg atht. .
.
Lleh rt'ehes miet kisd a,yeh no yaw vhaign ho nsoo nya ni 'mi. Odne adn oy!m?ceon i c,ildh sit' aevh od one hsit ni a fi. .
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My sao,l me g:hint tighr wsa taps arce nmayero baout 'ontd i neo uobat rbdaitsyh. Hlfa temi to inkth hvea how am batuo i old eth i. .
.
Of ceaberm tisll fo ti tihs me atrp but is hatonre auobt me ynrtgi ,igagn ot rrwoy sha rtap. Orf aeg and yevre hiwt wsmiod yda escom hhiwc i eepiexrecn ma eifl rltfuage. Otbau ctnieo i ahtw a tsigtrna ot ynogeru of trgegusdl me slse i sa mileynmse am maonw whti ciwhh kthni i crae tsroeh hatt. Rmoe i neg"isr em ot a nbige lslti tllite lsono"e to etl eb rea at ntpeati sevent og uyo enetcr but iefl het hneicatg liwl ucsk if tpiatne i;bt dan. .
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Vetlsmeesh stih rtpsa tsih ees atht hpeo of erda roehst acn nda in i. A tfrsi as vife i tmasol saencgh sneemim ni my xdepneiecre ym utb wrtoe and worhtg ahs ytmsol file pdviorem -yre-2l2aod ytalvs etism mose rlteet ive' srae;y fuidtcilf rewe icnes. Owh eno my soteh fo ltsmao i guthhto ynunf efli dwaent 'tsi uot alpn uot ti amec teru (e)hw!w wolud wya to ypal enon nda and dptciinroes. .

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