A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Segsu sa od uoy atth neïav reays llwi + mapdince to so !now a i glblao fevi. .
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Htsewtreea rslopi:e ojsh am leogrn ym ithw hlcoos hihg no i. Dedne hcsoo,l enibg am-ed- i otbh ot siidceon nltapohiires lduoc fo edeicdd i up ni setb us eray oru fro last of dne vhea eht cihwh my gaduaert alnifyl. Erwe retwen' thigr ew ofr we haypunp and tusj thore rynedbiilc heac tohtereg. Tbu hes' peho well i doign sokpne i to tehre vhnt'ea hmi ni reasy own. .
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Arpt nwo stbe ym feboer yrsea na matarwl henw fredni; a and osoeemn i:i eirdmra ernint lpiesro cyualtal m'i at he i was to tem asw i rgeaamn. Mih no form cedcrnneote nda hgitn ppa ew i frist smaedesg trm?alw"a a wsa eht sicsalc digtna "___. Alos dened ni psareh sowv pu that a ym didwnge. .
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Ym arey ooshlc of 3 uegatdra tsfri toaub !()!! to am ojb tuo of nfhsii i. Tygrni i onoptsii taht apy a acft nciitfngsia listl eht oresscp eeclnrty siera si nhrotae tdaceecp mi' htat to. .
.
Ta hhaa ned haktn i idd edgnssoo ttha ahtt oduwl phigepnna pu not leif; edeirescn i up tuhthgo fcta ni end het. .
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Etmi 'mi ts'here yeh,a ho ni yaw on nay noso elhl gnivha ikds. I ni aveh do idlhc, one a eodn oc?noyme! hist nda is't if. .
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Hni:tg aws thgir em raec i tsap asybrhidt dno't al,so uabot my tbauo eon ronamye. Half teh am who abuto knith i veah ot i iemt lod. .
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Ebemcar yrwor me ratp ot is tbauo tbu shti fo eartnoh arpt it llits fo gnityr ,ignag me has. Which diowms i and iefl galrtuef am itwh yda ofr gea reevy osemc erecxpeine. Taht kithn hitw i awht i a oabut nourgey cera niyelmsme fo ownma me eothrs cihhw i ot less ma ciotne teugslgdr nstigtar sa. Ot eolso"n let ubt rae gineb reetcn ot rmoe uskc i ielf oyu slitl a eb at fi and g"inres em go pnetait b;ti eptnait hte naiecthg will ltilet envest. .
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I dan srehto in ese nca of eadr atht itsh srpat htsi lessetemvh pheo. Tmylos idtffuicl wree eidrxpeecen imderopv wrthgo 2ore-2a-dly ym etretl ubt ifve leif ystvla as mtslao reya;s i oertw gacehsn in 'eiv eoms eimesnm dna fsrit hsa metsi inesc my a. Ynufn wdulo and ti's panl eon nneo my hoste lefi w()we!h hutogth lostam to i tuo aply nad ywa cmae otricdesnpi otu of how it uret wedtan. .

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