A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Rysae apincemd atht !won so lagolb ot nveïa as do + i wlil ivef a oyu sugse. .
.
I ipolser: on twsreahete am ym hghi iwth oocslh ohsj gnlero. Iaylfln eht pu ltsa fo edm--a ichhw tebs edn trgaaeud esiodcni my shoapertnili duloc ibneg for yera uro of i ot htbo su edend i veah in sclho,o ddceedi. Jsut idcnebyrli weer 'tewenr tehro hgtrotee we ew orf puayhnp ceah nda rtghi. Aseyr but ehs' etreh epoh onw to llwe ihm i godin i ni ehnavt' ponkse. .
.
I:i adn nidf;er rpta eh emt onesmeo ot rtlwama srolpie etnnir dmerair my stbe a i m'i ta reysa anraegm wno bfreeo na i hewn tluclaya wsa wsa. Nidgat alccssi ___" ihm i dan ew eth ssagemde omrf no tsfir ppa a thngi l?"atmwra crnndecetoe saw. Ttah up vosw my osla ended gwedidn sareph in a. .
.
To lsocho i yrae itfsr my outba of dureaatg of !)!!( out bjo insihf am 3. Caft ot ansniftigci pnotosii a ttha thta detcpeac teh recenylt iasre istll aehrtno is tnrygi yap mi' ocrsspe i. .
.
Nde eht nto fli;e hohttgu i edn tfca up ni npihgapen hatt at hkatn did i eiceersnd that pu udowl aahh goedsnos. .
.
Vganhi in lelh ho eyah, miet rh'stee awy any nsoo on disk 'im. Cnm?e!ooy it's hsti odne a adn od lid,hc ni avhe i eno fi. .
.
Ihg:nt nto'd asw tboau oautb i satp aerc girth ym eoanymr em ,osal eon habiydrts. I i hte am lfah heva ot tkinh who tuabo item dlo. .
.
Tish ahs hrenato prta tubao em is it ubt llist ot tapr rmaeecb orwry fo me g,niag gntiry fo. Eierxpeecn eilf mscoe nda rof hwchi ayd yeevr ega tihw i aturlfeg idwmso ma. Gegdrstlu lsse i fo me obuat norgyue i as twih taht wtha ot symeimnle octein a i threos wnoma am rtsigant hnkti wchih rcae. Tnseev rome genib rctene ucsk isltl eth era ot bi;t oyu og at efil tbu lwli iaentpt i eb lo"snoe let egcianht adn rsengi" em ltelit ieantpt a ot fi. .
.
Acn raspt ehostr erad i dna tath stmehlsvee of ese htsi phoe tsih in. Ilef sehcnag a tretel htwogr sah sa in emmnise tfisr ewer 2ldayre-2o- my 'evi and lsytav evfi amtsol tffliudic ;esray ubt i tsymlo osem ecins ipemrdov tmesi my etowr eexrednecip. Odlwu urte who oen my ilfe htoguth fo to tou he(w)w! i otshe nda tsi' enon alpy funny ndteaw awy msotal meca ioitrencsdp apnl dna it uto. .

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