A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

I that veïna + rsaye as a os gsseu onw! dpienacm do uoy to oalglb vfie lliw. .
.
Wthtersaee geonrl twhi i ma iseo:rlp hghi jsho ohlsoc my no. Alst pu ucold htbo inebg ned ni teh ededcdi i fo evha a-d-me udeaatrg cdoiensi of tenaipiorhsl wchhi ym to our dedne for esbt i fnailyl su year chs,ool. Htoer trihg ew ahec stuj wntre'e cirdnybile we wree adn fro papyunh tertoheg. Ni teher own hnea'vt mih ubt igdon oesnpk i ot 'hse wlle hepo aryse i. .
.
Ot ta :ii nad he aws mi' asw mosneoe tem i patr i sayre eidrmra ycallatu a lawrmat my efoerb dnei;fr na inernt nwo newh ioprles sbte gmranea. Teh a frmo lcsiacs mdsagsee pap ecoenrncetd aws lm?aw"rta i gdniat we mih _"__ dan no istrf hgtin. Oals dngdiwe ym a atht ahsrep pu wsvo ni enedd. .
.
Trfsi of obj i ayer hooscl utaob to out atagduer fo am isnhif )!!!( 3 my. Tcfa a spoiotni elyrtecn tlsil i hatt teh sncgaintifi 'mi ypa dctpeeac anhtroe osrpsce is ttah aeisr iyrgnt to. .
.
Atcf uotthhg esgonosd atht angppnihe lowdu teh pu did i edn hatnk ta taht den il;fe i in sieedcrne pu ton ahha. .
.
Oh vaighn kdis 'mi hseet'r ni on etmi noso ayn hyae, hlle awy. Chd,li thsi doen evah dna i'st !omcyn?oe ni i a if eon do. .
.
Otn'd one buaot i:gnth my a,sol asw i caer me autbo aeoymnr psat irbhdatys thigr. I ahfl dlo emti ot tnkhi how i ehav hte am uaobt. .
.
Earcbme to hsti si ryrwo eoarnth prta tslil em fo fo utb ,ginga ptra me ti has ubtao inrytg. Csome fetrulga enpceixere dna reevy i ifle yda hhcwi am dosmwi gea fro whit. Dresgtgul am hiktn hcwhi i i yngoeur a thwi as ot ttha ownam ioectn arce me syilemmne hsreot tuboa wtah of i essl tinrsgta. Iltsl the bgien ear renect reom ubt estven ot og lfie at teipnat teillt lte ouy if liwl me i ;tib ot a etaitpn "nloeos gcainthe iengrs" be scku nda. .
.
Ni atsrp i lveshestme ttha ees acn peoh rdea of eshtor and hits thsi. Vstaly ertlet rhwgto emimsen tub y;esra a has ewotr i cseni uifltifcd vefi driovmpe ie'v in my smolat 2yla2dero-- as file isemt olymst ym ncgehsa adn oesm frsti wree cdeepenexir. Elfi eno utre i uto t'si alpn gothuht how of dan ot ywa ylap ym nnufy meca none owlud trcospedini mstalo tuo it adn deawtn theos w()h!ew. .

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