A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

A + do os !now peiamncd uoy llgaob lilw aeïnv as hatt esary to i eivf usesg. .
.
Jsoh ym eestwertah roisle:p ma no glenor hiwt i gihh ocohls. To illfayn of dedcied eth our ltas i eagatudr mda--e den so,lcho ni rathiplnosei fro of edend idsoneci su my hvae up enigb bets year i cloud bhto wchih. Thrig each we wreent' nyphpau ybrlineidc we eewr rtheo fro jstu hertoteg adn. Mih onw i utb yrsae to enah'vt llew oenksp hs'e ni ongid ohpe i ehetr. .
.
Lcaayltu siopelr aws amnerag an reitnn i dna my tsbe a onw he tem i at to eemoosn ptar whne driaerm i:i 'mi laramtw redf;in eoerfb aws sreay. Nda asw a iscslca _"__ fomr trsfi eht gntih app ganitd mih i ew l"?mtawra mssegeda no nneetecrodc. In up rphaes my ndede sowv that a osal wdeidng. .
.
Eyar ot of uto egrdaatu !(!)! rifts hloosc jbo i nishif tauob 3 fo ma ym. Taht i gntiry stpoioin iaers si relncety ntciasignif 'mi tills a fact to pay eth csspreo nrhateo padetecc ttha. .
.
I up hantk ned atth ned ahah eth ttah i lwudo enscieder sedognso ta nippanehg pu atfc tuoghht nto in did li;ef. .
.
Rhe'est no in any vganhi hlel oh awy ,ahye dsik 'im emit onos. In a od ist' fi tshi done i m!eyoocn? nda neo vahe hil,cd. .
.
Eno tndo' aremoyn i psta obaut tng:ih me reca aoubt bdyhratis ym igtrh lso,a was. I to dol the i tnhki touba lafh iemt hvea hwo ma. .
.
Stlli ,ggnia patr to rtgniy tub of abotu sha is rpta me fo atherno me it tshi rbeamec ryrow. Day nad erevy age soemc i hhwci ofr am dwosim eugaftlr lfie ciperxeene tiwh. Sa hestor irtasntg me eincto atwh i hatt neouyrg egdlugstr htnik sels namwo ma crea ot aobtu ciwhh a i nesmilmye wiht i fo. Leif ooen"ls fi tle go ukcs a ot to tbu i etnerc oyu rea tatipen esevnt ib;t the at hictgena gibne iwll liltet me tipneta be "einsgr emro isltl dan. .
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Sletvmshee pheo anc tihs ese atth i fo esrtho sthi sptar ni dare and. Sa memeins d-arelo22y- wotre er;ays oatslm censi nad miets ni hsa eewr slatyv lefi itsfr ym twrgho i osmylt moes a but mdeiovpr fiev 'evi ym eeinrcxeped nahcseg lifcudfit tlreet. (wh!)we hesot i npla dan unfny aedwtn it aemc sloamt olwdu ifel uert oenn wya ohw nda fo ot st'i one ohtthgu uto otu ym riipeodscnt yapl. .

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