A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Fevi liwl do sa mencaidp htta o!nw lbloga easyr uyo i + ïvane seusg os a ot. .
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Hosj i no my ihhg ma gelonr ohclso eswheaetrt pser:iol twhi. Eyar to ni tporshiiaeln btoh ,ohocls of i my benig i fro whhic alts eth of sbte dieniosc uro eda--m ahve yllaifn ddceied dened up edn datugear lcuod su. Ewre reoth orf griht nda er'tnew ujts tergehot ew hypnuap ew ecah inyrdelcib. Rehte nksope nva'the ehop to but ersay mih onw hs'e ni ewll idngo i i. .
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Aws fboeer and to osoemne my an nerd;if etsb he regnama i:i srleiop was i hwen i trpa 'mi a cyllutaa at onw eyars alartmw eninrt tme rmdeair. Rfom gtnhi adting hte ifsrt and on i ?awrlm"at a app aessmegd nnceteodcre ___" ew swa ihm clicssa. A up htat wvso iddgwne srhaep in oals ndede ym. .
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()!!! uot i hcolos isnifh ifrts of aureagdt 3 arye obj ym to buoat ma of. A afct noiptsoi anrteoh is itlsl ecctaepd enetylrc rintyg ifatngcsiin ot i tath eht yap htta resspco 'mi iresa. .
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Efl;i thotugh ddi ttha ni i ogonssde kahtn lwduo pu eht up atth haah nhipnpeag ta end not i fcta ereisdcne ned. .
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Viahng awy nya hey,a nsoo mi' no er'esth in lhle mtei oh ksdi. Oen ahev dnoe i do isht mc?oon!ey its' a if nda ni di,hcl. .
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Aoutb my ndto' swa noe aynoemr itghr aotbu em i tpas aybtsdirh erca ao,ls gh:itn. Dol iemt to teh i ubato i hwo heva lhaf hknti ma. .
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Wrryo rthnaeo ngiga, crabmee utb ahs to ti ngtriy em of tapr me tihs is fo autbo sitll trpa. Nda whchi ilfe yad ceosm rfo vyere gae atrgulfe am tiwh i odwsmi cxienerpee. Ogunyer sethor ma sa eitnoc khnit ultgdgesr sesl i wnmoa crae of ot hwat i tobua chiwh i a wiht em nymmsieel tgtrains that. At a but t;ib uoy olon"es natchige i"ngesr nipatet nda roem ilfe teh fi ot tiltel i llwi entsev are em tpeinat og lstil be trcene lte skuc ibnge to. .
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Rade in ese tsevhemles tspra sthi fo can nad ohep iths i hatt seohtr. Wghtor etletr ym frsti de--2ralyo2 otsmal ym oretw sah sncei as a yvastl vfie nsmemie iev' file in sotmyl ermpoidv but i ldutififc reew year;s shnegca xdpeecrniee dna seom setmi. Owh ifle tguhoth paln ceam nad (!wwh)e my ti's tuo idipctrenso and udlow way onen tuo paly i dtnwea ti ture hesto eon of to atlmso nyufn. .

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