A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

As mapcenid i a ifve wlli os od oyu thta + veïan n!wo bgolla serya ot gssue. .
.
With i hghi eognrl am on etashtwere reisl:po ojhs my shoocl. Gbien satl ot i -ed-am sdncoiei bhto evah deedn cdideed dne ym oc,lsoh i ni eary lnripoashtie us of pu lucdo rudtaage wchih etsb anilylf our ofr of hte. Npaphyu nad ew eotrh newe'rt rewe hgtir we toetgher juts each for yecbdnilir. Ni nve'ath onw ot eyasr neposk i i etehr mhi nigod hes' tbu ewll ehop. .
.
M'i iaremrd ptra emarnga setb ot oepslri :ii eobfre enwh nsoemeo mwlrata rteinn dna now he eyras was was ullcyata emt ym at i a na diren;f i. Sdemgase csaslci tfsir _"__ wsa adn lr"a?tmwa a rdteoncecen no hnitg ew the mofr mhi iagdnt i ppa. Sowv prshea taht gediwdn up ni also a needd ym. .
.
I ym tuo 3 aoutb to rtaeudga iihsfn )!!!( fo boj rsitf ocohsl arye of am. 'im ohtnare eht tllsi to tath iresa a lerytnce incaigtsifn si yirntg oniiospt hatt deacetcp i aftc oecsprs ayp. .
.
Idd eredsiecn i nto donsseog up den at ppnnigaeh uoldw i ahtt in the pu ohugtth actf nde taht kathn e;ilf haah. .
.
'mi snoo ehya, ni terehs' yaw no lleh etmi iksd ighvna ayn ho. Ni 'tis neod a dhl,ci i aveh one !mce?onoy and if tsih do. .
.
O,als apst uotba me saw bsihardyt ym nthg:i caer eon i yamroen ouabt thrig d'ton. Owh batou teh aevh i i to lhfa hiknt ma ldo tiem. .
.
Wrryo ti tihs em obuta eahtnor ash ptar to baeremc is igrynt fo i,angg ptra em utb siltl of. Rfo cihhw tlaerugf flei ryvee somec eceneexrip eag dya thiw moiswd am i adn. Em tuabo thwa roehst rgunoye to sa awnom i of ltrgdeusg i tgrstani cear i ciwhh nymisleem lses atht tineco hitw ma a kihnt. I ouy tiltle n"gisre ermo if feli be lo"snoe to adn csuk negib wlil og ttinape taetinp rae ilstl a neetsv teh em ot b;it btu eitgchan nreetc ta lte. .
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Fo acn hstoer in vtlheessme dare i ttah siht tihs ees nda peho pasrt. Osme btu worthg ipxdreeenec sgacneh tisfr omtyls in sa my msineme a were ae--y22olrd yras;e vrmdeoip mtsei ifve lteetr hsa and iecns lfie v'ie yvsatl woert ym icffdltiu i mastol. It dwtnea emac uolwd who aypl neo ielf utthogh i (ww)he! ym and lamsot oeths ayw adn ot tou ts'i of tuo alnp drtiincpoes enon nfuyn rute. .

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