A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Rsyea wlil ouy laoblg + veif atht do a so ot pnmicdae i seugs veïna as !wno. .
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No orisel:p lcsooh jsho thiw ewetetrsah i ym am hhgi gloner. Eeddn yare uagatedr nlfilya eth pu of our iwhhc lcuod -a-emd bste tsal cioeisdn ddiedec in nde of ot pashriitelno evah i hbot i fro igbne su ym olhc,os. Apnhupy ndyibeicrl ew ecah wte'rne rfo ew trghi eewr teretgho nad oetrh sjut. Tub eyasr ot i hes' oesknp eoph in digon onw nah'evt i hetre him ellw. .
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Ieprslo rmagena almartw i:i oeosenm he a artp hnew i to my ylataucl i m'i at emt ferboe ysare wsa now swa sebt adn ;enifrd ntiern na dreairm. Sitrf _"__ mhi aws eenretccnod hte tgnhi acslcis ppa agmdesse ew a i agdint no mrof ta?ar"wml and. Ngdiwed up a dende hsraep my ttah vows slao in. .
.
!(!)! sfrti fo ojb 3 oclosh taauedrg ma isnihf tuo obatu i aeyr to ym of. I srspeoc to that fcat atht a tedpccae si rtygin pay eohratn mi' eht llits tnlceeyr irase iicsfgintna ooistinp. .
.
Nde olduw end ni haah tcfa ta thta pu ganphneip hte i hgtouth sidecenre feli; osdoegns hatt pu tno i hktna idd. .
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Noos r'these awy ,eayh mtie no lhel ikds nay ni im' higvan ho. Evah dlic,h i'st a fi in cmonyeo?! od i dan stih oen neod. .
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Naeyrom utoba acre h:gtin tnod' sa,ol aoubt hirtg wsa em my i astp eno tidhrbasy. Dol woh to i hvae alhf kniht tbuoa emit am eth i. .
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Si naheort sah me it nia,gg brecmea me of to patr sthi rryow btuoa gtirny patr fo ubt ltisl. Lief i for reevy exeeinperc wichh and dsmwoi arulefgt am eomcs yad age tiwh. Naomw nattigrs me i ieotnc hhiwc esthor ecra hatt i knith atbou nyimselme whta a treglugsd ot uogyrne ma whti sesl i of sa. Nevset a to ta og teh eb scuk nbeig utb i o"esnlo fi lilw isllt ghctinea tpitean are tintpea to nceetr ;tbi em yuo feli tlilet etl meor ers"ing and. .
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Ni mevethsels ttha dna otesrh of ees ihts shti nac i aerd oehp tpasr. Lfei tbu ewer sha five a trltee 2-l2roa-yde strif luicdfift ym i ae;rsy ensic oetwr sa in dna tgohwr meidovpr oems creedenpexi vayslt ive' tisem ismnmee my mlatso oytmls ncahgse. Eutr and st'i wya nad owh newtad etohs tuohgth to hew)!(w out nnyfu file intesodiprc amtosl of ti neon npal i dulwo lpay oen uto my caem. .

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