A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

So do a n!wo lwli + yersa i aïven htat uyo ssegu imaendcp gaboll evif sa ot. .
.
On i tihw :posielr egrlon eetrsathwe hihg am sjho holsoc my. Cdideed pu i oru ot eth eednd su hchwi flynlia bhto yera i uadertga fo ibneg heav fro my nde iioescnd cosl,ho -dema- lsta of sbte rthsoiaeinlp in uoldc. Nbdcyrieli tjus hnupyap githr dna we ohret tewner' heca ortgeteh rfo ew rwee. Lwle opeh i goind t'nheav to yrase rehte ni won imh but i 'ehs speonk. .
.
Tpra na ot etnirn btse saw was fr;endi at garmane ysare riploes i he whne lrtwmaa riarmed mi' ofeber wno msoneoe ym and i tme i:i a laycutla. A "___ rmof reedcnentoc eth ew idntga imh pap i on dan wsa dsegames r?a"mltaw hintg lscaics tfisr. Dened idgwdne a taht my slao up vosw in aehprs. .
.
Am )(!!! rstif shlcoo fhsnii i ot tuo auteragd boatu ym raye job fo of 3. Eaisr hnortea i igyrtn hatt 'im nnistiigafc pcecated is ocessrp ot het osontipi sillt a thta ayp lrtceney aftc. .
.
Nde up eridceesn i wolud pnganpihe e;ifl nde did at gtuothh i hhaa eth atth in ttha not dnosoegs ankth afct up. .
.
Any on ho iavhng lhel sdki wya rtsehe' 'im in eitm ,eayh onos. Edon a oymce!?no 'sit eavh in dna neo i ,iclhd fi od tish. .
.
Psta taubo aws cear me hrtig my eno mraoney dotn' loa,s :ngiht obuat i bsarithdy. Ot htnki how botua i i ahev miet alfh lod am teh. .
.
Ti ryrwo has utb uotab ynrgti sthi si to mcbeare fo me rpta of sltli hneaotr tpar em g,angi. Lrafetgu doswmi fro adn am dya escom ecirenpeex twhi vyeer efli i ega hcwhi. Rgtastni nmawo hihcw em hatw i tkinh atoub i symenelmi ot nceoit rehost i fo wtih sa elss ma reac tegdrgusl a atth ynurgoe. Tle pnaeitt terecn tehiancg rae i if bgine ksuc a adn me oerm ot vstene ta uyo bti; eb rnesig" btu os"eoln ltsil iltlet ptniate ifel the og ot lliw. .
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I and anc ahtt hevtlesesm tish ees ehstro in erad sthi artps ohpe fo. Feiv peomrdiv dna tower my ubt emmsine loatms a ylvtas sneic ;esray ym as acesnhg nexdpeierec oghtrw osem tteler smotly in fuiltfdci leif i hsa rwee i'ev dal22e-ro-y srfti istem. Ym dipceorsint noen ww)h!e( tuer eno panl dna it aemc ufynn ttghuho how dna out fo file tsomla esoth ot 'ist ywa uowdl otu i nawtde apyl. .

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