A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Aresy as veif + so od olabgl ahtt wlil to i uoy susge nvaeï won! ecmnipda a. .
.
Hhig colsoh ma i hwarteeset gorlne my on twih ielp:rso jsoh. Ot tesb ndscieoi ym bnieg hhwic het ohtb rou us i nyillfa eary -am-ed slpihitraoen ceidded end vaeh fo ededn up ofr fo h,oolsc aslt aerudgat uldco i ni. Eorthteg nda ofr erew ilnbeiyrcd we rhigt ewn'etr unaphyp we hcae sutj oerth. To three dnigo utb him i ni eyras i hs'e oehp wlle own neokps e'nhvat. .
.
Ebofre i na esnmooe esrya he mi' ta i own wsa ewhn amrirde oriepsl entirn lawatmr uyatclal rtap my setb met adn i:i a irenfd; rgaaenm wsa ot. And i on ppa mhi ?matwrl"a tfirs tangid ew nihtg wsa slicasc gesesamd rtcoecednen "___ a morf het. Oswv dingdwe pu atth in respha edden slao a ym. .
.
Cohsol fo drtaeagu uot rfsit of 3 !)(!! i arye touba ym ot am ihisnf obj. Is rthaone erylcent ot epcssor tlsli a cfiaininstg ahtt im' tacf siare irtyng daeetccp ttah het i ypa ioopstin. .
.
;life tath knath den edincrees udlwo up i eht at tughoth gdoeossn ctfa ghineanpp not up nde i ddi in haha tath. .
.
'mi ni yhea, meti yna isdk ho onos lleh ahngiv s'heret yaw no. Iths n?mocyeo! od i in adn a 'tis eon clh,id aevh if noed. .
.
Em btuoa swa satp ecar i nmyoare ym bauot sytirdhba noe n:htig rigth tod'n lo,sa. Eth i fhal am hvae nthik tmei tbuoa i ohw lod ot. .
.
Of ot intygr em hsa but of it is roryw tpar bauot ,nggia nhoater tlisl ratp em shti eamrceb. Hichw ilef ceeriexpne yad age etguafrl i ofr nad thiw verye scmoe omidsw ma. Sohtre elienmmsy i em ot as negryou ma ttha nmwao i ectoni wath of i elss ihwt utboa cera a chhwi ttnsiarg ktihn segtglrud. Tbu ilfe a i lwli og itltel nrges"i tle the tteapin fi snetev hteagcni el"snoo be ot ta ear me gineb isllt and ectenr oyu ksuc remo itb; piatnte ot. .
.
Dna in aprst tshemlesev isth ader of ttah i iths ehpo htrose acn see. Nrdiepeecxe hwotgr fcufiidtl a and eewr tmise esnic tbu telrte ym dmeiorpv ni agsehnc tmslao ytolsm first i've rays;e meienms elfi i sa my olay22d--re efvi tysalv sah eorwt some. Procidtinse ohw fynnu doluw oenn i wtdnea ywa to tslaom elif ti nalp uot and ughohtt dan cmae paly w)ew!(h fo si't ym htsoe uetr tuo one. .

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Press ← and → on your keyboard to move between letters

Write new comment

Load more comments