A letter from June 21st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Oyu veïan + o!wn as do veif esgus icemdpan i lgbloa rysea a ot wlil htta os. .
.
No rloei:ps ym i hghi lcosho hsoj engorl htiw sehwrattee am. Chiwh yrea lcoud edend of ahev su ni end sebt of tsal falnyil eddecid i up taeagurd snlatiopeirh btoh cdionesi eth to einbg fro ym i -emda- ,oshcol our. Heetrgto dan sjtu w'nteer otehr griht ahce dnribiylce hnyupap eewr ew ofr we. Naet'vh lelw kosnpe eohp yresa ihm i 'hse in to btu niogd i rhete wno. .
.
And tnrnei nwhe rdfe;ni ii: i tbes wno rpsloei i was diemrar asw ym rtpa a eh met rmtwala eoemosn eoerfb im' at nargeam to sryea tyuaclla an. Nad "___ aws wltmra"?a a eht orfm ginht app mhi samsedge calcssi dntneoecrce fsirt on intadg we i. Nedde in ym weddnig atth alos wvso asrhpe up a. .
.
Uto of ojb i 3 eyar (!!)! to egdrtaua am fsitr fo bauot ym nsfhii oslcho. Iootsnip ritygn tafc is rpossce htat aeisr to fiiistnngca litls ctadeepc rtaehno im' yrelcnet eht a that i ypa. .
.
The ton ta haha up dne rdeesneci afct i ahtt khtan ;flie pu nineapphg dolwu sooegnsd atth did ni i tghuhot dne. .
.
In etsrh'e kisd any im' on etim hlel ho vihnag awy yaeh, osno. I ,hlcid evha omy!c?eno dnoe oen tihs 'sti nda a do fi ni. .
.
Eon taubo hgn:it asw n'otd em itghr atps my caer stibhydra os,al omraney uboat i. Old eht emit heva i am ot otuba owh flah i nhitk. .
.
Em bauto ot it fo tbu woyrr ehnatro rgytin atrp tarp hsa em gn,gai stih emraceb is of lilst. Am i neeipcrxee adn coesm dmisow feil hichw aeflrtug itwh aeg ofr vreye ady. I boaut gdtgluers erac of tahw targsnti to enmmyesli iwhch am a i sa nihtk ecoitn i em hatt amwon hwit lsse erstho eynugro. Yuo roem at htncigea fi tle a btu lwil lfei ebngi teh ntepita ot to aer b;it scuk i go nteiapt isllt reetnc loseno" resi"ng etvnes and me ltleit be. .
.
Edra nac rsoteh taht ese ophe htsi nda vhmetesesl i htis patrs fo ni. Fevi tlasyv but stemi teelrt osymlt hsecnga omse ewre nda sa my emiemns r;saye 'ive oetrw in neierecxdep a i predmvoi sfirt fiucftild ash mlotsa icesn ym owhrgt 2lerd-ao2y- lfei. Maec uto to uynnf idtsreoipcn ti ilfe anpl eno otu stmola dan w!w)h(e teru otehs i dna yaw oenn of lpya my ohguhtt ohw natewd s'ti dolwu. .

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Press ← and → on your keyboard to move between letters

Write new comment

Load more comments