first week of college

Dear FutureMe, well you did it! you made it through your first week of college! insane. i cant believe im a college student. its crazy i still feel like i should be back home with my mom and dad where im surrounded by everything i know, but instead im here where i have a few people i know and are gettin to know more, where i know absolutely nothin and have to do everything by myself and where i dont have my moms home cooking :( but ive enjoyed it alot. i definitely feel like i made the right decision with murray, the first 2 or 3 days was a little rough cause i felt like i was all alone and i didnt know anyone but slowly its gettin better and im startin to branch out thank god lol i still feel like that shy girl from high school though which kinda sucks but whatever its me and i cant change it. the classes i have are spanish which is okay so far theres a cute guy in there and an old man maybe in his 40s, i like my algebra class alot idk why but the professor is a pretty cool guy( he reminds me alot of mr girard...) and i met some people in there from the equestrian team who are really nice :) and i just feel like its gonna be a good class in general, beginning horsemanship is boring right now but i kinda expected that for the first few weeks anyways/: i sorta kinda like my english class i dont really know about that one yet, i like the professor i just dont know about the people yet lol, and lastly my transitions class. ive only been there once and its my biggest class with about 60 people, i know one girl in there and shes pretty cool and the rest i have no clue about lol. where i live is kinda ghetto lol on move in day we had a plumber come in and fix our toilet if that says anything... but the people ive met so far are startin to seem like family. my fyl katelynn is really nice and i love her to death already. shes also on the equestrian team so shes been tellin me alot about it which calms my nerves down a little bit lol but me and her get along really good which is nice and reassuring. i know i can definitely come to her with anything for sure. my ra terree is somethin else lol shes soo funny and the way she talks just kills me. she definitly seems like a cartoony person lol. theres a few cute and extremely attractive guys here as well lol first off theres chris idk his last name but hes soooooo funny which is such a turn on for me and soo attractive in my eyes, and hes a sweetheart. he calls everyone darlin lol such a heart melter haha and he really tries to get everyone to feel comfortable it seems like. then theres this nathan guy. hes mixed but oh. my. gosh. so attractive with a nice body and hes tall and hes nice :) talk about the total package lol but on the night of the water balloon fight these guys were throwin tshirts and i guess he was behind me and when he went to get a tshirt he came down and elbowed me right in the forehead, it hurt so bad lol. then theres this guy zack but hes off limits cause katelynn likes him alot and besides i dont really know anything about him besides he went to trinity and hes extremely gorgeous lol and then katelynn and mckenna are tryin to get me to go for this drew guy but i mean hes cute and all but just doesnt seem like my type kinda like toby. toby is a real sweetheart southern born and bred but honestly i dont think hes attractive because hes bigger. i know that sounds so shallow and low but its the truth and i hate that i feel that way but i do and i cant help it/: and besides he hasnt texted me and i aint textin him first so it is what it is. then theres this guy nate, i dont think hes cute at all but hes funny and is head over heels for mckenna lol what i cant get over is how much he looks like bubba he even has the same name and was in the army too its seriously insane and creepy lol but hes a cool guy i just dont like how he says im boring and monotone sorry but i dont really care to impress you........ what i hope to gain this year at college is my confidence in myself and to get out of my shell and stop bein shy. i absolutely hate how shy i am but i cant seem to get over it all -___- and i know i am but it sucks cause i feel like no guy likes the shy girl/: i would really appreciate a boyfriend too but idk if thatll happen either i swear i think god is wantin to keep my single my entire life lol im a college student now and have never had my first kiss, never had a boyfriend and never been on a date. how pathetic does that sound? pretty pathetic i know. but whatever i guess. and lastly i know this year is gonna be really trying with my faith in god and i can already feel it but i refuse to let it get to me, im gonna go to church tomorrow night and keep goin to wednesdays and hopefully meet some guys with the same interest as me and beliefs as me. im not gonna lie i do miss my family more than anything but i have to do this for me cause i plan on moving away anyway. i cant stay at home for the rest of my life im gonna have to move out eventually but i just wish i was younger so i had an excuse to stay. i hate gettin older and growing up especially since the older i get the older my parents get and i really dont wanna see them die. i wont be able to handle it, we all seen how i handled gidget bein put down and it still hurts to think about, i wanna cry everytime i see a picture or video and i can only imagine if my parents were to die. id be lost and broken honestly. well thats that, i got through my first week of college without a scratch lol, its weird to think about but itll definitly be an adventure i look forward to. i love you and ill see you in a year, good luck!