A letter to future, from July 12th, 2014

Dear FutureMe, Hi! I don`t think it would do any good if i ask you questions about my life in future, because you wouldn`t be able to answer them. So I`m going to remind you what your life was like when you were 15, well almost 16 (it`s middle of July now) and tell you what my hopes for my future are. Just simple stuff you`ve probably forgotten by then. There is many exciting things happening in my life right now. Firstly, I am about to get a dog!! I`ve been trying to convince my family to get me one for over 5 years and I`m actually getting one in, like, a week! I am not as excited as happy and grateful for everything, I can`t even be fully-happy until I see that little puppy running around my bedroom! Talking about my bedroom, I`m getting it redecorated right now. It was all girly pink with red and pink furniture and posters and photographs on the walls. Well the wall si white now, and i`m thinking about painting one wall minty but i`m really not sure, i think i won`t do that but who knows. i threw out all posters and pictures from walls and i`ll put white framed boards instead of them, two with Michael Jackson`s black & white photos and the other with my dog`s photo (once i get it). The fronts of my furniture are white now also. I`m kinda going for that white, clean look with straight lines. idk, I like it. I`m also very determined to cut my hair, I want it to look like Sam (Emma Watson - she`s my idol I love her so much, i really hope she stayed as humble and sweet as she`s now!) in `The Perks of Being a Wallflower`. I like that style, and I think it`ll look good on me. Okay, I have to tell you that I am so happy to announce that I`ll be publishing my first blog post on my new blog (www.glamly.blogspot.com) at the beginning of August! I have such a big passion for writing, and I`ve been writing some posts so I can post them if i don`t have time or inspiration later. I would really like it to succeed, but who knows, maybe I get bored or under a big pressure. Then I`ll just leave it. I have to ask though, what`s up with Janko? Remember, the love of your life? The one you were in love with since the day you met him (when you were one and a half years old)? He was the reason I am not in any relationship. I feel like I`m betraying him when I kiss another guy. Which I kissed only one, and didn`t like it, I guess because I felt guilt. I didn`t even close my eyes, like what? hahahaha Now, I hope that you and Janko are together now, livving somewhere on a hill or a mountain, with a river near the house. You work something on your computer, maybe graphic or web designer, and paint in your free time. He can just fish all day, he can do whatever he wants to as long as he`s near me. Because while we haven`t talked for the past couple years I was totally crushed, i wasn`t even me. Now I`m trying to fix it all, couple week ago he even looked at my eyes while we were talking, we actually had a normal conversation!!! I`m like stalking his facebook, everytime he publishes a song i find lyrics and analyse them. He put `Just a Dream` by Nelly, `Sto To Bjese Ljubav` by Oliver Dragojevic and `Unconditionally` by Katty Perry. If you are not with him, there is something I have to tell you, and you have to listen to me. Carefully. You can try and convince yourself that you don`t like him and that you`re better without him, but you`re not. You learned to live with him in your life and you are just not programmed to live without him. Remember, he did love you, one you were young. Remember the sims? He was your man, you even had babies in it hahaha And then when you were playing that he was spiderman and you were his girlfriend? Or when you were a dinosaur princess and the bad dinosaur wanted to eat you so he came and rescues you? Just remember all those little things. He did love you once, and he probably loves you now! Okay remember when you asked Kristina to send a message to his best friend and ask him if Janko had a girlfriend? He didn`t have a girlfriend! He maybe feels the same way about you but you know him, he is so shy and his pride is on a high level! So what I`m asking you, except you`re best friends, is to track him down, go to him and tell him everything! If you`re not talking to each other there won`t be anything to loose! And for God`s sake if you don`t do this you will become a single ant who has a dozen of dogs or a workaholic, or you`ll have a family and husband who loves you but you don`t feel the same way but you want to have family so you are just keeping it for yourself for. Just don`t do that. Do as I said. It is an order. Seriously. But first get yourself in shape, if you are not, and i really hope you are. And if you are in relationship with him, well done! You have your life back and you don`t have to do anything! It doesn`t even matter if you have a job or if you did something wrong; if he`s yours there`s nothing that bad, just be happy! So now that we`re done with all that, what abou J. K. Rowling? I am madly hoping that she`ll publish another Harry Potter book!!!!!! She just published a 1500 characters story about him in his 30s, that means she`s got a whole story in notes and stuff. I don`t know if there`s anything else to say.. I hope you are successful independent woman. I hope your little dog is till alive, i can`t even imagine otherwise. I hope that you don`t have contact with people from your class in high school and that you are not friends with them. Just remember how bad people they are, what they did to you and other kids. I hope you don`t have any depression, anxiety and all those bad stuff also. Keep a positive and optimistic mind and everything will come to it`s place! I`ve always wanted to be a famous singer, but it was just because i taught i would fail in being in relationship with Janko, so this was other option in which i may be happy. I don`t really think there`s a third option in which i`m gonna be happy. I just really hope the first one is the final one. I don`t care if you live in London or New York or Paris or Winn. If he`s with you you`re going to be okay even if you live in a box hahaha. Oooh I hope that there is finally a cure for cancer. Yep. Be strong, independent, positive and happy and just keep moving forward and don`t give a **** about what anybody thinks. (the last quote is Johnny Depp`s I`M IN LOVE WITH HIM aaa :O) Love always, Lena (Milena)